Part-Time Taoist Priest 23

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Joss Paper Hanging from the Ear

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Today, Chen Mo brought his younger brother, seventeen-year-old Chen Zui, to Baoyang Temple. As soon as they entered the temple, they saw Xie Lingya selling cakes in the front yard. Chen Mo quickly grabbed Chen Zui, who was looking around. “Wait here, I’ll go say hello to Teacher Xie.”

Chen Mo’s colleagues unanimously agreed that the famous atheist ‘Karen’ Chen Mo had changed for the better after the lesson he was taught at Baoyang Temple. The pre-Baoyang Temple Chen Mo was the kind of person who was always alert wherever he went and found fault even in trivial things like traffic lights.

Indeed, Chen Mo had learned his lesson. He got into trouble easily because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. It was one thing to offend people, it was another thing to suffer at the hands of an enraged god.

As for Chen Zui, he was currently a high school senior. Chen Mo insisted that he came to the temple to offer incense and ask for blessings. Chen Zui thought it was a silly idea, but he wasn’t as much of a contrary person as Chen Mo had once been. In addition, Baoyang Temple was rather popular at their school recently—even among his classmates, it had become a trend to come here for tea. Chen Zui was only puzzled about his brother’s change of attitude, wondering how he got brainwashed.

“Teacher Xie, are you busy?” Chen Mo greeted. Lately, Xie Lingya worked mostly in the backyard and it was rare to see him in the front yard.

“Oh, Chen Mo, you aren’t working today?” Xie Lingya replied. “I’m helping out in the front. We are now selling cake, so I was introducing its origins to everyone. I just finished explaining. You came too late.”

Chen Mo took a glimpse. The cakes had Baoyang Temple stamped on the front and Spring Snow Cake on the back. It was very fitting for the atmosphere of a Taoist temple. “I have to try them then. Is there any more?”

“Hold on, I will go get some.” Xie Lingya was in a good mood because the sales had been good. There were many visitors on the weekends and once they’d heard that the temple was selling cakes, many had wanted to try them, especially since his story had been interesting. A plate of cake was 30 yuan, and most tables ordered at least one plate.

Chen Mo waved Chen Zui over. “Come here!”

Chen Zui walked over and saw his brother greet the temple volunteers. Then, he very naturally started to prepare tea, while Xie Lingya returned with some Spring Snow Cakes.

“Is this your brother? He looks a lot like you,” Xie Lingya said. Chen Mo came to the temple quite often. Although there were some unhappy experiences in the beginning, Chen Mo was much better later on, so Xie Lingya sat down to chat with him.

“Yes. My brother is a high school senior and will be taking the Gaokao next semester,” Chen Mo replied. “His results were not ideal, so I brought him here to offer incense to Wenchang Dijun.”¹A Taoist deity in Chinese mythology, known as the God of Culture and Literature.

Chen Mo was gradually getting familiar with the Taoist gods and deities. One of the side halls of Baoyang Temple was dedicated to Wenchang Dijun, who oversaw fortunes for examinations; scholars had been worshipping him since ancient times. Although Wenchang Dijun was not Baoyang Temple’s tutelary god, Chen Mo, as an ardent follower of Baoyang, didn’t bother searching for Wenchang’s temples and instead came here directly.

Chen Zui wasn’t paying much attention to the conversation between Chen Mo and Xie Lingya. He assumed that Xie Lingya was something of a jushi²lay practicioner of the temple. 

He took a photo of the Spring Snow Cakes, uploaded it to his friend circle, and checked-in at the temple before tasting a cake.

The appearance of the cake was simple but the taste and texture in the mouth were pretty good. The sweetness was natural and not overwhelming like those cakes with a ton of sugar added. Since Chen Zui hadn’t had much of an appetite at lunch, he had only eaten a piece of bread and the cake’s light, non-greasy taste was quite appetizing.

Chen Zui ended up half-full from eating the cakes with tea, and yet he didn’t feel tired of the taste. Glancing at the other tables, most of them had also ordered the cakes. They were quite popular indeed.

What he did not know was, not only did the cakes taste good, but the ingredients were Chinese yam and fuling, which were particularly beneficial to both the young and the elderly.

The cakes appeared ordinary and the taste was nothing surprising, however, after a few pieces, one could gradually tell their merit. They also went very well with tea. In fact, these cakes would become one of their best selling cakes in the future.

With their long and rich history, in addition to having been handmade at a Taoist temple, these cakes were also appealing to those searching for originality.

People like Chen Zui would take photos and check-in on social media.

Chen Zui opened his friend circle again and saw that he had received a few dozen “likes” and many comments on his photo.

This was unusual. Chen Zui opened up the newest comments and realized that most of them were from his female classmates and friends.

“Isn’t this Baoyang Temple? Who is sitting opposite you?”

“Didn’t you say you are going out with your brother today? Wow, is that your brother?”

“I hereby announce that I’m going to be Chen Zui’s sister-in-law.”

“Wait, that might be Baoyang Temple’s boss. Rumor on the streets has it that there is a handsome priest in Baoyang, and if you are lucky you will meet him.”

“This morning my friend said that Baoyang was selling desserts, but I didn’t know that you’d get to sit with handsome men when eating dessert! [:Heart:] Wait for me, I’m coming too!!”

“I’m going there immediately! [:Blush:]”

…

Chen Zui read the comments and was at a loss. What’s wrong with these people? They were like his brother, falling into some kind of frenzy. 

The photo of the cake was taken at the level of the table, therefore the people opposite him and the buildings behind were also in the frame. In the photo, Teacher Xie was leaning lazily on the cane chair, his chin propped on his hand as he chatted with Chen Mo, a faint smile on his face. However, as a straight man, Chen Zui didn’t feel particularly participant in the frenzy of his comment section.

Judging by these comments, Teacher Xie, to some degree, could be considered well-known, but these people had little understanding of him. It was all just rumors.

“In reply to all your questions, that is not my brother, he is my brother’s friend, called Teacher Xie or something. Not sure if he is a volunteer here or the boss.” Chen Zui made a quick reply and closed the messaging app.

After they finished the cakes, Xie Lingya led them to Wenchang Hall. “Wenchang Dijun’s statue has just been changed too.”

Chen Zui looked around as he walked, not paying much attention to where he was stepping. While walking out of the main hall, he tripped on the high threshold of the door and fell over.

“Chen Zui, are you alright?” Chen Mo quickly helped his brother up. Seeing Chen Zui’s wince, Chen Mo pulled up his pants leg and saw that his knee was badly scraped.

Immediately, Chen Mo said excitedly, “Teacher Xie, he is bleeding. Ah, can we use the blood-stopping incantation?”

Xie Lingya: “……”

He didn’t look like he was worried about his brother and instead looked like he just wanted to see Xie Lingya’s miracle skills again.

Chen Zui on the other hand panicked. Fuck, incantation? Has his brother gone mad? He agreed to come here to burn incense for fun, but reciting incantations was just too weird. He shouted frantically, “No no no… I don’t want to!”

Chen Mo stared at him disapprovingly.

Xie Lingya took a glimpse at Chen Zui and said, “Help him to the back. I’ll go call Brother Hai to come over.”

“Hold up, I said I don’t want to!” Chen Zui thought this was it. What kind of evil cult was this Taoist temple that forced people? Would they make him drink ash water or talisman water? His brother must’ve been brainwashed! 

That Brother Hai, was he the head here? Chen Zui’s imagination drew many possible horrific plots. He looked around panic-stricken, wanting to call for help. But would anyone believe him? What if everyone was brainwashed, or thought that it was a family matter and didn’t care? He and his brother looked very much alike.

Xie Lingya stared at him strangely. “You don’t want a doctor? Then what, are you going to lick the wound to heal it?”

Chen Zui: “I… ah?”

Chen Zui embarrassedly realized that he had made an incorrect assumption. He had thought that his brother was brainwashed and that Xie Lingya was a scammer. Moreover, they mentioned something about incantations. He didn’t expect “Brother Hai” to be a doctor…

“Your brother doesn’t like traditional Chinese physicians?” Xie Lingya asked Chen Mo. “But Doctor Hai uses modern techniques for treating wounds.” He thought maybe this kid misunderstood that they were going to use incantations. But that was not right. Since when did they, Taoists, forcefully promote themselves? They wouldn’t stoop to such a thing no matter how poor they were.

Sometimes there were patients blindly asking the gods for help, and he would even advise these people to seek treatment at the clinic behind.

Chen Mo didn’t know either. Looking at Chen Zui’s stupidity, he said, “Don’t listen to him, please call on Doctor Hai.”

Not long after, Hai Guanchao came over with a first aid kit. The abrasion was not deep and had not come in contact with contaminants and therefore didn’t need an injection—disinfecting and bandaging it was enough.

Chen Zui had let his imagination run too wild. He lowered his head and played on his phone to hide his embarrassment.

Suddenly there were many comments under his post: “What? Gullible Xie? Heartbroken!”³Chen Zui mistyped 老师 (Teacher) to 老实 (gullible, naive, honest)

“How can he have such a name? [:Cry:] I am not going there anymore.”

“I fell out of love.”

“I cannot accept that he is called Gullible Xie. I just can’t.”

“?” Chen Zui scrolled up and found that he had made a typo. As if venting his frustration he wrote, “Are you people crazy? I just mistyped ‘Teacher’ to ‘Gullible’. You guys are really superficial!”

The comment section went into a frenzy again:

“Ah, I fell in love again.”

“I hold my ready-packed purse as I am superficially heading for tea ^^”

Chen Mo and Chen Zui went to offer incense to Wenchang Dijun and Spirit Official Wang before leaving. Of course, Chen Zui later received much criticism because after he left, Xie Lingya did not appear in the front yard anymore. The people who arrived at Baoyang Temple after that only got to admire Zhang Daozhang being forced to be a model to promote the cakes. 

Nevertheless, it had to be said that the cakes were quite good.

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Xie Lingya had originally wanted to take a nap but in the end, he went to wash his face. Refreshed, he started doing mock questions again. Only after he was done did he go for a short nap.

He woke up around 5 p.m. to start preparing dinner.

Xie Lingya got some food from the kitchen and went to knock on Shi Changxuan’s door. He had just lifted his hand when the door opened. He was stunned for a moment but then he smiled. “I have come to change the food for Pokeweed.”

He glanced around as he spoke and noticed that the altar was empty. Pokeweed was lying next to Shi Changxuan’s pillow. This wasn’t the time for reciting spells. Excited, he asked, “Has it started speaking?”

Not sure if he got the wrong impression, he felt that Shi Changxuan was hesitant when he nodded.

Xie Lingya: “Wow, what did it say?”

Shi Changxuan: “………”

Xie Lingya: “?”

Xie Lingya was very confused. Wait, why isn’t he answering?

“Then, can I come in?” Xie Lingya asked again. This time Shi Changxuan hesitated even longer before letting him in.

Pokeweed was still wrapped in a handkerchief, lying next to the pillow like a small doll. Xie Lingya approached Pokeweed step by step as Shi Changxuan stared at him intensely from behind. Rarely in Xie Lingya’s life had he felt so nervous.

What would he hear…

Xie Lingya bent down and placed his ear close to Pokeweed. A few seconds later, he tilted his head towards Shi Changxuan. “Um? Why isn’t he speaking?”

…That Pokeweed that was blabbering non-stop finally shut its mouth?

When Shi Changxuan came over, Xie Lingya picked up Pokeweed and held it next to Shi Changxuan’s ear.

Shi Changxuan accepted the sprite and just as Xie Lingya let go, Shi Changxuan heard Pokeweed’s tiny voice: “Huu— I’m too shy.”

Shi Changxuan: “…………”

The whispering sprite’s voice was too soft, so Xie Lingya didn’t hear anything. He looked expectantly at Shi Changxuan. “How is it? Did it say anything?”

Shi Changxuan looked away. “No.”

Xie Lingya was dejected, “Maybe he forms his own thoughts and can choose when to speak? So what did he say previously?”

Pokeweed was in fact speaking now. Its voice reached Shi Changxuan’s ear, “Xie Lingya wanted to cook fish tonight. There is a very big carp in the wet market. It is at the second stall on the third row…”

Shi Changxuan ignored the voice and said slowly, “A defect after it got scared by the thunder. It is not very bright.”

Pokeweed’s voice stopped abruptly.

“Ah, so it doesn’t speak much and the content isn’t accurate when it does. Not very useful, is it?” Xie Lingya said with regret. No wonder Shi Changxuan was hesitant.

Shi Changxuan: “…En.”

Pokeweed: “No, I am not! You liar!”

Xie Lingya asked, “Is there any way to fix it?”

Shi Changxuan put down Pokeweed and said plainly, “Let me try reciting the spell a few more times.”

He thought he heard the broken pokeweed sprite moaning about “never changing”, but he couldn’t hear it after removing it from beside his ear. The voice was not louder than the buzz of a mosquito.

Xie Lingya laughed when he saw that and said, “It is inconvenient if you keep holding it in your hand. Hold on, let me find a pin.”

Before Shi Changxuan could react, Xie Lingya left the room. When he returned, he brought a pin and a pair of scissors. He cut up the handkerchief Pokeweed was wearing and closed it up again with the pin, making it more garment-like.

Then he fastened Pokeweed to Shi Changxuan’s collar as if it was a fashionable brooch. Just, the brooch was at odds with Shi Changxuan’s cold demeanor.

Xie Lingya: “Haha, it is quite cute.”

Shi Changxuan adjusted Pokeweed somewhat uncomfortably.

Pokeweed: “I, CUTE.”

Shi Changxuan: “……”

After dinner that night, Shi Changxuan cleared his mind and recited spells again while ignoring the blabbering Pokeweed. He wasn’t lying to Xie Lingya, he felt that if he continued reciting the incantations, the pokeweed sprite would become normal. There was something wrong with this pokeweed sprite; it was defective.

Nearby, Zhang Daoting asked Xie Lingya, “Does Shi Daozhang dislike eating fish? That cold tone he used during dinner when he asked ‘This is grass carp?’… I nearly died from fright.”

“Not at all,” Xie Lingya replied. “After you left, he told me where in the market to get carp the next time. Maybe he just doesn’t like grass carp. Besides, I don’t know when he became so familiar with the market.”

Even teaching him so passionately about these trivial matters. What a rare occurrence.

Zhang Daoting glanced a few times at Shi Changxuan, who was seated a little further away, and asked, “What’s that doll on Shi Daozhang?”

He had managed to hold back from asking for a long time. It was just too weird seeing a small wooden doll on the stoic Shi Daozhang’s shoulder.

Hai Guanchao pondered over it for a moment and thought of something. He stared at Shi Changxuan, who was muttering incantations under his breath, and asked, “The last time the two of you went out, was it because of that thing?”

“Yes.” Xie Lingya briefly told them what happened. “But don’t tell anyone else and don’t mention it to Shi Daozhang. That pokeweed sprite doesn’t seem too bright. Shi Daozhang might be sad if we brought it up.”

Zhang Daoting laughed drily. He couldn’t imagine what Shi Daozhang looked like when sad.

Xie Lingya stared at Shi Changxuan reciting the spell for the forty-ninth time. He took a sip of water from his cup and then stood up.

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Suddenly, Shi Changxuan felt the noise next to his ear stop. Even a usually calm and collected person like him couldn’t help but sigh in relief. Had it fixed itself? He observed Pokeweed silently.

—The next second, he felt someone lean in from behind and lay their head on his shoulder. There was only a small wooden doll between their faces.

Shi Changxuan could almost feel the cool breath of the other person when the mirthful voice sounded by his ear, “Aiya, looking at you I thought it was speaking. I wanted to eavesdrop.”

Shi Changxuan was slightly stiff. Xie Lingya tilted his head and their hair brushed past each other. They were so close that if they moved slightly, Xie Lingya’s lips would touch his face. 

This was too sudden. Shi Changxuan didn’t dare to move.

Xie Lingya still did not get up. Instead, he said, “Will it be like that forever? Either it can’t speak or it can’t speak accurately. Or does it like being in the mountains better? Are you going to send it back?”

Shi Changxuan couldn’t help the serious thoughts that came up in his mind: Why is he leaning on my shoulder? He is getting more and more out of line.

When Xie Lingya didn’t get a reply, he asked again, “En, is that not good?”

At this moment, a tiny voice sounded next to their ears, “The h-happy pond has planted, the dreams that became the ocean, the bulging eyes, and big mouth, it can sing loudly too!”

Shi Changxuan: “???”

Before Shi Changxuan could grasp what had happened, he felt the weight lift off his shoulder. Xie Lingya had stood up. With Pokeweed held in his palms, he excitedly cheered, “It can sing Little Leaping Frog! Don’t you dare let it go—”

Shi Changxuan: “……………”

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Shi Changxuan followed the crowd into the subway station, ready to head to class. Pokeweed was fastened to a strap on his backpack. Since it had opened its mouth, Pokeweed would be carried wherever he went. However, it kept complaining about having to leave the temple.

Shi Changxuan: “…Noisy.”

He unfastened Pokeweed and put it into his pocket. When he lifted his head again, not only the sprite was silent, but the students who were chatting around him had also quieted down.

Shi Changxuan looked out the window expressionlessly.

During class, Huang Jinyang asked Shi Changxuan, “Did you bring the notes for the reference? You said you would lend them to me last time.”

Shi Changxuan opened his bag to search for the notebook. “…I took the wrong one.”

He had been reading in his room and there were a few notebooks. He must’ve taken the wrong one due to being distracted by the issue with the whispering sprite.

“Ah? Oh, no! I wanted to bring it back today. I applied for leave to go back to my hometown for a wedding. I’m heading to the train station after the afternoon class.” Huang Jinyang looked dismayed.

“Let me ask.” Shi Changxuan wanted to ask if there was anyone free in the temple who could deliver the notebook.

He went outside the classroom with his bag to make the call. Before dialing, he glanced at Pokeweed, who was hanging from his bag, and raised it to eye level.“Why didn’t you remind me?”

To avoid calamity was one of the most basic functions of a whispering sprite.

Pokeweed didn’t say a word, as if it was really a silent decorative wooden doll.

The person Shi Changxuan called was Xie Lingya—he was the only one in the temple who could possibly be free. Upon hearing the problem, Xie Lingya immediately replied, “No problem, I will bring it over. I’m pretty free over here.”

Xie Lingya had made another batch of Spring Snow Cakes in the morning. The sales went very well. The 15kg of cakes were sold out on the first day, so Xie Lingya confidently made some more.

He followed Shi Changxuan’s instructions from the phone call and took the notebook. Then, he took the subway to Quedong College and found their classroom.

Coincidentally, the first class had just ended. Huang Jinyang and Shi Changxuan were heading out together.

Huang Jinyang saw that it was Xie Lingya who came to deliver the notebook and gratefully said, “Teacher Xie, I must call you Teacher. It is too awesome. That luck changing talisman really worked. I have not seen much of those things recently.”

As he spoke, his left eye winced a little before slowly opening up again. The eye was blinking quite often, it seemed that while his luck had in fact changed, it would still take some time for him to change his habits.

“Great that it worked. Where are you having your next class?” Xie Lingya asked as he walked out with them.

They were heading in the same direction. Xie Lingya walked next to Shi Changxuan, asking, “Where’s that… doll?”

Shi Changxuan took Pokeweed out of his pocket.

Xie Lingya asked, “Why aren’t you wearing it?”

Huang Jinyang listening to their conversation thought something was strange. “Is this a gift from you? And I was wondering why it’s so…”

“Not his style?” Xie Lingya laughed. “But it’s cute.” If it was him, he would wear it every day.

Silently, Shi Changxuan pinned Pokeweed back onto his shoulder.

As they walked within the campus grounds, Xie Lingya saw a familiar figure. “Isn’t that Headmaster Mi? Have you guys met him? Once, I was playing with fireworks at school after the winter holidays and got caught by him. He gave me a good scolding.”

Headmaster Mi was affectionately known as Old Man Mi. Huang Jinyang and Shi Changxuan were admitted as graduate students but they too recognized his face. At the moment, Headmaster Mi was leading some people through the school field, it looked like they were being given a tour.

Huang Jinyang glanced over and asked, “Is the one by his side also one of our school teachers?”

Xie Lingya stared for a while. “You’re referring to the one on the left who looks very rich? The one with the very long earlobes?”

“Yes, the one on the left. I don’t know if his earlobes are long.” Huang Jinyang hesitated. “There is a big piece of paper hanging on his ear.”

“Paper?” Xie Lingya scanned through the crowd. “No one has a paper on their ear.”

“No way.” Huang Jinyang squinted his eyes and was certain to see one. “Really there is… ah, wait, that paper is circular but has a square in the middle like a copper coin… That’s not right, paper coin, joss paper?”

Huang Jinyang was stunned. Who would hang joss paper on themselves?

Xie Lingya and Shi Changxuan exchanged a glance. Joss paper?

At this time, the pokeweed sprite, who had never made any proper predictions since opening its mouth, suddenly spoke up with its teeny voice, “Joss paper hanging from the ear, life nearing its limit.”

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Translator: Velvet
TL checker: Darkchocolatesan
Editor: Miiya, Taalia
Proofreader: Taalia, Eques
QC: Eques

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