Part-Time Taoist Priest 8
Selling Talismans
In the front yard, Mrs. Sun, as usual, ridiculed Mrs. Wang: “Twenty yuan! You should’ve bought mosquito coils, you’d be better off!”
Mrs. Sun didn’t know how many times she’d chastised Mrs. Wang for wasting money on superstitions. Burning incense for peace of mind was fine, but buying charms from Taihe Temple that cost a few hundred yuan per piece?
Mrs. Sun’s son rented a space from the temple to run his shop, and she personally had a very good impression of Xiao Xie. However, in her opinion, the young Taoist priest who had just moved in seemed untrustworthy—who’d ever heard about something like a mosquito-repelling talisman?
“Then why don’t they have mosquitoes here?” Mrs. Wang countered, unconvinced.
“Uh…” Mrs. Sun was unable to answer her.
Mrs. Wang lived on the first floor of an old residential building. The doors and windows didn’t seal properly, and mosquitoes continued to find their way inside—you’d barely have killed one batch before another appeared.
Her son bought an electric mosquito swatter and every evening, whenever they had a free moment, Mrs. Wang and her husband hunted mosquitoes. The sizzling sound of mosquitoes being electrocuted was endless. Even so, it was easy to be bitten if they were not careful.
Queshan Province was a mountainous region, and the mosquitoes there were noxious. Their bites caused big red bumps which if not treated properly would leave faint brown marks for months, or in serious cases, even scars.
It was a weekend. When Mrs. Wang got home, her son and daughter-in-law, who’d moved out after getting married two years ago, came over for a meal.
The old lady dared not say she bought a talisman. Her son and daughter-in-law were not fond of her faith. They warned her over and over again that getting talismans was fine but when she was sick, she had to see a doctor, rather than relying on incense and prayers.
Mrs. Wang followed Zhang Daoting’s instruction and chose to stick the mosquito-repelling talisman on the inside of the bedroom door, lest it be seen by her son.
During the meal, Mrs. Wang’s son, Wang Yongyi, took out a small jar of ointment. “Mom, I got this ointment from my colleague. If a mosquito bites you, apply a little to the bite and it will heal in no time.”
The ointment had a limited supply each year, as it was made with medicinal herbs according to a secret recipe passed down from his colleague’s ancestors. Getting a jar hadn’t been easy, and it was only as big as the hollow of his palm.
Mrs. Wang accepted the jar and opened the lid to take a look. Inside was a pale green tincture that gave off a light herbal fragrance. “Thank you, I’ll try it.”
“Oh right, Mom, is the well water from before still available?” Wang Yongyi asked. “I’d like to take a bottle home tomorrow, it makes for delicious tea.”
When Mrs. Wang first told him about the tasty well water, he took some back with him. He wasn’t expecting much, but it turned out that what she had said was true. He used it when making tea with several tea friends. When his friends asked him about the water, he was a little pleased with himself, as if he’d found a secret treasure.
“There is, there is. I told you this water is very good. There are even people who drive here every day especially to fetch water,” Mrs. Wang said with an inexplicable sense of pride.
Wang Yongyi, a tea enthusiast, smiled. “Is that so? How strange, we’ve lived here for so long, yet we didn’t know Baoyang has such good well water.”
“That’s because they don’t like to show off. Besides, no one had any reason to fetch water there—it’s much easier to just boil tap water,” Mrs. Wang replied. “Never mind the well, I’ve never even been there to pray. It’s just too small.”
“It is indeed,” Wang Yong agreed. Even his overly-religious mother wouldn’t go there.
Wang Yongyi and his wife were staying for the night, so in the evening Mrs. Wang went into their room to make it as mosquito-free as possible. But after entering, she realized she had no targets.
She waved the electric swatter around a few times, and only two mosquitoes were killed. That was beyond unusual.
Could it be because of the mosquito-repelling talisman? Mrs. Wang thought, delighted but a little unsure. Shutting the door of the room tight behind herself, she asked, “Hey, don’t you think there are less mosquitoes today?”
Wang Yongyi looked around in surprise. “Yes, it looks like it. It seems the mosquito coil you’ve bought this time is really effective.”
There was indeed a lit mosquito coil in the living room, but Mrs. Wang was certain that wasn’t the reason. It wasn’t the first day she had used that same kind of mosquito coil and to be honest, it barely did anything.
After considering the issue, she didn’t say anything. She decided to wait and see first.
Mr. Wang gave his wife the side-eye. His son hadn’t noticed, but he saw the new talisman behind the door to the room. He also knew that the mosquito coil had not been changed. However, he didn’t make the connection between the lack of mosquitoes and the talisman until later.
That night, the young couple retired to their room. Wang Yongyi’s wife said, “There really are less mosquitoes today. I just hope they won’t return in the middle of the night.”
Back when they had lived here, they couldn’t avoid being bitten once or twice a day. They’d tried all kinds of mosquito-repelling methods, but none had been foolproof.
After exchanging a few sentences, the couple went to sleep.
In the other room, Mrs. Wang, mosquito swatter in hand, vigilantly observed her surroundings. It took a while, but she finally determined that there really weren’t any mosquitos in the room. She’d swatted two in her son’s room, but she couldn’t even see the wing of one here.
“Hey, did you change the mosquito coil after all?” asked the old man. “It’s working so well today.”
Mrs Wang sniffed. “Of course I didn’t change it. There are no mosquitoes because today, I asked for a talisman in the temple.”
Mr. Wang furrowed his brow. “Which temple? Don’t joke, as if any god would get rid of mosquitoes.”
It was probably because the quality of the mosquito coils was inconsistent, and some batches worked better than others? Thinking so, he prepared to light another.
“Wait, don’t do that,” Mrs. Wang said. “There are no mosquitoes anyway. Don’t light it and we’ll see how it goes tonight. I just feel that it is the talisman working.”
Mr Wang: “…”
He really was speechless.
Having spent most of their lives together, of course Mr. Wang knew what kind of person Mrs. Wang was. Resigned, he could only cover his head with the blanket and go to sleep.
The night passed. The family of four slept peacefully till dawn.
During breakfast, Wang Yongyi asked Mrs. Wang: “Mom, what brand of mosquito coil did you use? It’s good.”
Mrs. Wang hurried into the bedroom and took down the talisman. She folded it nicely and handed it to Wang Yongyi. “What mosquito coil? It was the mosquito-repelling talisman I got from Baoyang Temple yesterday. See how effective it is? There wasn’t a single mosquito all night long. Take it and stick it somewhere in your bedroom.”
Although Wang Yongyi’s apartment was on a higher floor, and as such less mosquitoes tended to get in, as far as Mrs. Wang thought, less wasn’t zero. It was best to let her son take the talisman home, she could buy another one for herself.
Wang Yongyi was both confused and amused. “What the hell, mosquito-repelling talisman?”
Just then, Mr. Wang came out of the toilet. “Hey, I looked around—there really aren’t any. Well, one or two in the kitchen and toilet, maybe because they’re too far away from the talisman.”
The old couple had risen early, and it didn’t take long for them to discover that there really hadn’t been any mosquitoes invading throughout the night. Mr. Wang purposefully went to check every room to confirm. He was ninety percent certain that it was the effect of the talisman.
Wang Yongyi was stunned. He’d long known that his mother was superstitious, but how did his father fall into the trap? Why was he insisting it was because of the talisman?
Wait, but if the mosquito coil really was useless, then how could he explain the lack of mosquitoes? Don’t tell me…
“Fuck, is this thing that awesome?” Wang Yongyi held the talisman in shock.
Who would have expected a tiny temple like Baoyang would not only have a good well, but also someone with so much skill?
He’d seen his mother pray and buy talismans since he was a child, but any effect was all in the mind—everything depended on how she viewed it. This was the first time he had seen a talisman with a tangible effect. It was amazing, like talismans from stories about the Immortals!
Wang Yongyi’s wife joined them at this point. After hearing their conversation, she too was amazed. “This… maybe it’s because of some secret recipe, like the ointment from your colleague? Maybe the paper was soaked in it.”
Hesitating, Wang Yongyi said, “But it doesn’t seem to have any smell.” He gave it another sniff, but could only detect the faint scent of the yellow paper and cinnabar.
“Since there’s no smell, how could it be medicine?” Mrs. Wang glared. “Besides, if they have such a recipe, why not sell it straight out as a mosquito repellent? They would get rich in no time!”
That sounded reasonable, but Wang Yongyi’s wife still would rather believe it to be the effect of a medicine or chemical, not some magic talisman.
“It is not expensive, but who knows how long it will last. Mom, go buy two more.” Wang Yongyi didn’t really care whether it was medicine or magic—the only thing that mattered was that it worked!
When Mrs. Wang arrived at Baoyang Temple, she found that the few fellow tea-drinkers who also bought talismans with her yesterday had already arrived. They gathered around Zhang Daoting, discussing something.
Listening in, Mrs. Wang learned that their talismans had also worked well, to everyone’s shock. There was only one person who didn’t use the talisman, and upon hearing how effective it was, they were rather dazed.
Mrs. Wang was frank by nature. Now she said bluntly, “My daughter-in-law said that the talisman worked because it was soaked in some sort of mosquito-repelling medicine. But I checked and there were still mosquitoes outside the house. How could a chemical distinguish between inside my house and outside?”
The others offered an awkward smile. They were confused as well. They doubted their own sanity one moment, and wondered if there was any scientific explanation the next, but didn’t say anything out loud.
When it came to this kind of thing, many said it was subjective; if you believed then it was real, and if you didn’t then it wasn’t. But the presence or absence of mosquitoes was a very objective result.
“If you have any doubts, you can send the talismans for tests,” Zhang Daoting said with confidence.
The tea drinkers exchanged glances. That didn’t look like bluffing.
“The symbols on this talisman were drawn in Cloud-Seal Script. Cloud-Seal Script was created by the ancients by imitating the flow of the clouds and changes in the sky. They wrote the auspicious symbols on the talismans to pray for a blessing or ask to cure a disease, but it also had many other uses. It coincides with the natural way of heaven and earth. You might believe it works or you can doubt, but this knowledge has been passed down since ancient times. There must be a reason it survived to this day.”
Zhang Daoting’s words made sense, and everyone nodded thoughtfully, a bit convinced. There were so many things in this world that science couldn’t explain—why couldn’t this talisman work according to some as-of-yet-undiscovered natural law or principle?
Mosquito-repelling talismans were unheard of, but most people were familiar with the more popular nocturnal crying talisman, which stopped children from crying at night—they’d heard accounts of its use from others or perhaps had used it themselves. It was said that there were many successful cases because children were more spiritual.
“Um… Zhang Daozhang, can we go into the Spirit Official Hall yet? I’d like to light incense,” Mrs. Wang asked. She had already been a believer; now that she’d been convinced that Baoyang was a proper temple and the priests here had real ability, it was natural that she wanted to worship there.
“Not yet. You may only enter the Three Purities Hall and Wen Chang Hall for now,” Zhang Daoting replied.
Actually there wasn’t any need to seal off the Spirit Official Hall, because they weren’t repairing the old statue but casting a new one out of brass. The problem was, the venerable founder seemed to hate his damaged statue and no matter who went in to burn incense, the joss sticks would break and be extinguished… Presumably, the god wanted to meet worshippers with his fresh new look.
Mrs. Wang went to burn incense for the Three Purities. The others thought for a moment and followed her. They weren’t believers before, but after their experience with the mosquito-repelling talisman, the door to a new world had opened. That didn’t mean they’d become devout followers all of a sudden, but respect blossomed in their hearts. They wanted to burn incense for peace of mind.
Then, as more and more people entered the front yard, everyone else heard about it. Yesterday when they bought the mosquito-repelling talisman, many people were present, but only a few of them had been willing to spend money.
Now, with the news that the talismans really worked, they were dubious, and even suspected them of shilling.
Zhang Daoting didn’t take advantage of the situation to promote it. In the end, there were about seven or eight people who took the initiative to ask for the talisman. They wanted to try and see if it was really useful.
The mosquito repelling talisman was only 20 yuan, so Zhang Daoting asked if they were also interested in other talismans, like those for house protection, curing headaches, or helping digestion.
Xie Lingya slipped off to draw them. The current workload wasn’t heavy, but considering that it was early days yet, he was plenty satisfied.
The mosquito-repelling talisman was just a lure to draw people in. He planned to reduce the quantity he produced at some point, or even stop selling them altogether—he didn’t want “mosquito repellent” to be the first thing to come to people’s minds when mentioning Baoyang Temple, or the loss would outweigh the gain. He needed to promote other charms and amulets to keep things balanced.
Due to Xie Lingya’s recent diligence in drawing talismans, his supply of paper and cinnabar were exhausted quickly, so he took some time to replenish it. First he went to the traditional Chinese medicine store to buy cinnabar, then went shopping for yellow joss paper.
Xie Lingya was young and carried a backpack. When he was buying the paper, the shop owner asked curiously: “Hey kid, what are you buying this for? An arts and crafts class?”
“……” Xie Lingya thought the boss was being funny—was there anyone who bought joss paper for doing handicrafts?
This shop sold all kinds of prayer beads, deity statues, joss paper, and so on. They also had some brocade sacks and talismans. The owner even promoted his products a little. “Do you want to buy a talisman? We have talismans for not failing tests.”
“Talismans for not failing tests? Those exist?” Xie Lingya was amazed. How come he hadn’t heard of such a thing? And he thought that he had learned enough. However, after he took a look, it turned out the talisman was photocopied.
The owner continued with enthusiasm: “Of course there is, Taoism has all kinds of trivial talismans. We have anything you want, even talismans for curing bad breath and constipation, let alone a talisman to pass your tests. You might not know, but the original version of this one was drawn by a great Taoist master. It contains a drop of divinity, so it works even if it is a photocopy.”
Xie Lingya’s lips twitched. At that moment, he spotted a familiar figure outside the shop, which drew his attention in a flash.
The owner followed his gaze and saw five or six Taoist priests standing nearby. “Oh, they seem to be Taoist priests from Taihe Temple,” he said.
Xie Lingya slammed money down on the counter, and hurriedly stuffed the stack of paper into his backpack.
“What’s the rush, kid?” the boss asked. He caught a glimpse of the cinnabar in his bag and was stunned for a moment.
“Sorry, boss, gotta go. I just saw my Shixiong,”1‘Senior Apprentice Brother”; senior male fellow student or apprentice Xie Lingya said seriously.
The shop owner: “…………”
He watched with wide eyes as Xie Lingya ran out of the shop and to the priests. When both sides really started conversing, the owner slapped his forehead, “Kid, if you’re a Taoist priest then say so earlier!”
And he’d even tried promoting some damn ‘not failing tests’ talisman!
The priests from Taihe looked at Xie Lingya, wondering when Shi Changxuan had made friends in the area.
Shi Changxuan gave a brief explanation that Xie Lingya was from Baoyang Temple, and they met due to the incident with the “life-buying money”. Although Baoyang Temple was tiny, as local priests, they had heard of it. There were even some who knew Wang Yuji, so they chatted with Xie Lingya for a bit.
However, knowing that he was half their peer, these priests didn’t relax but rather became nervous. They dropped vague remarks at Shi Changxuan, hinting that they should leave.
Xie Lingya didn’t know what was going on, and looked at them with curiosity.
Shi Changxuan glanced at Xie Lingya, a bit hesitant.
Xie Lingya came to the realisation that they were probably busy doing work in Chen Sansheng’s stead. Taihe Temple’s abbot, Chen Sansheng, had suffered a backlash trying to break a curse and at the moment wasn’t faring well, but this incident was not announced to the public. After all, it was a bit shameful since he was the abbot.
He’d already guessed the truth the last time he met Shi Changxuan, but it was inappropriate to bring it up in front of these people. He quickly changed the topic: “Oh, I need to go, I will see you around, Daozhangs. if there are any activities in your temple, please call and invite us from Baoyang too, hahaha.”
In the past, Wang Yuji had never participated in group activities, but since Xie Lingya asked, everyone politely agreed.
To not delay them further, Xie Lingya took his leave.
But to his surprise, after he got off the bus at a stop near Baoyang, he actually saw Shi Changxuan’s group again. However, they didn’t see him and were heading in another direction.
There was no need for another greeting, so he didn’t bother them and went back to the temple to practice drawing talismans. Due to demands from He Zun and his classmates, and now that business was taking off, Xie Lingya drew more Spirit Official Protection Talismans to stock up.
After some practice, he went outside to boil water. At that moment, an owner of a nearby shop came in, calling out, “Oh my, I just came over from the supermarket—a moment ago, an old Taoist priest jumped off the unfinished building at the construction site on Mingxi Street. I don’t know what’s going on, but anyway, he broke his legs.”
Construction site? Xie Lingya’s eyes widened. He put down the kettle and rushed to his room.
This was it, a chance to put what he’d practiced into action, and at the same time, a perfect opportunity to prove himself.
Zhang Daoting came out of his room. Seeing him in such a hurry, he asked offhanded, “What are you doing?”
“I need to get my sword!” Xie Lingya replied, voice soaring with heroic spirit.
“?!” Zhang Daoting gave him a terrified stare. “Boss, who are you going to cut?”
Translator’s Notes:
- Shixiong [师兄] – ‘Senior Apprentice Brother”; senior male fellow student or apprentice.
Some talismans taken from the book Taoism: An Essential Guide by Eva Wong:
Translator: Velvet
TL Checker : Eques
Editor: Con
yesssssss this novel is the best!!!! It’s so different from anything else, thank you for translating!!!
Thank you for the new chapter! This is such a fun story and I was so excited to see this chapter is out. Xie Lingya’s good intentions are always misunderstood in the most hilarious ways. Thanks for all your hard work!
Thank you so much for the chapter
I need that talisman for constipation 😂