Every March, it would rain in Liyun Town. The pitter-patter of raindrops and the humid air unique to the southern lands encompassed the body in a soft caress. Many years ago, he left home, yet Lin Jingze still couldn’t forget this sensation.

He suffered from insomnia and had not slept well since his father’s death that year when he was twenty nine. When the sound of rain woke him at 4 a.m., he sat on the doorstep and watched Liyun Mountain in the distance, obscured by drizzle and fog. In 1990, the mineral resources buried deep in the mountain soil hadn’t been discovered yet, and it was still beautiful and grandiose—drastically different from the devastation in Lin Jingzhe’s memory.

The entrance was in a mess. The wind had toppled over the white wreath with the words “Rest In Peace,” a suona ended up lying in a corner, spattered with mud, and the damp leftovers of exploded red firecrackers littered the ground…

He turned around and his eyes fell on the lonely, Chinese fir coffin standing in the living room. Heated tung oil coated the raw wood, making it silky smooth and glossy. Also expensive; it was the favorite material of Liyun Town’s wealthy patrons.

Inside was Jiang Jiping, Lin Jingzhe’s maternal grandfather whom he had held last rites for, crying his eyes out, over twenty years ago.

The calendar hanging on the wall had a picture of a galloping horse. In big, glaring letters, it showed the date, ‘March 6, 1990.’ Lin Jingzhe was caught in a dream-like trance. He knew that in four days, the old man he’d never stopped missing would be buried in the Liyun Town cemetery, sent off by the sound of gongs and drums. From then on, the Jiang family would develop and become increasingly successful, and his gravestone would become the place of worship where the Liyun Town officials must pay their respects every year on Ancestors’ Day.

What Lin Jingzhe could remember was bringing a pot of wine to the cemetery and getting dead drunk. He was exhausted that day; he did not sleep for over forty hours. After finishing his training abroad, he took a flight back to Yan City. When he arrived, the shocking news of his friend Gao Sheng’s impending execution made him rush to Liyun Town. Then, mentally and physically exhausted, he cried himself to sleep in the cemetary, leaning against his grandfather’s tombstone.

When he woke up, he had returned to the day of his eighteen birthday, twenty-five years ago.

“Jingzhe!” The lazy symphony of falling raindrops was interrupted by the clatter of a chain. A not-too-new bicycle came into view and halted in front of Lin Jingzhe. Its owner put his long legs on the ground to stop from toppling over then opened an umbrella with one hand and chirped, “I see you haven’t gone out yet. Come on, I’ll take you to school!”

The 18-year-old Gao Sheng’s hair was shaved to a buzz cut, and under his large, worn-out but clean, uniform, he wore a hand-knit turtleneck pilled from washing. This attire looked pitifully plain compared to the increasingly expensive suits he wore after joining the gang, but Lin Jingzhe did not care; he had not seen this carefree, innocent smile for over ten years.

For a long time, he couldn’t speak. Gao Sheng saw him pale and dazed but thought grief still overwhelmed him because of his grandfather’s death. He didn’t want to make his condition worse, so he didn’t offer empty consolations. Instead, he patted his old-style 28-inch bicycle as if nothing were wrong and called out, “Hurry up! If we are late, we will have to stay for make-up lessons!”

Lin Jingzhe’s reaction was a few seconds late, but he stood up. “Wait a moment.”

He turned and went inside. Instead of picking up the schoolbag packed the night before, he approached the coffin and looked down at the small, frail old man lying there with his eyes closed.

This was the person who had accompanied Lin Jingzhe the longest, the family member he loved the most and the only one he trusted.

“Grandpa.” Why didn’t you let me come back just a few days earlier? I’ve always longed to hear your gentle, solemn voice again. Lin Jingzhe reached out to neaten the old man’s slightly messy hair, and his eyes fell on the firm, slender fingers without signs of age. After a moment of stupor, the hand clenched on the coffin’s side loosened its grip. He swallowed a sob, and a tearful, nostalgic smile appeared on his face. “I’m leaving for school.”

In the Liyun Town of 1990, urban development wasn’t systematic. After leaving the “rich neighborhood” where Lin Jingzhe and his grandfather lived, the road was full of potholes. Lin Jinzhe sat on the back seat and held the umbrella for Gao Sheng. The bicycle jolted now and then, making his butt press uncomfortably into the old-fashioned seat. His ears were assaulted by the endless chatter of his childhood friend: “We are doomed, the mock exam results will be out today. You probably did bad too. The teacher in charge of our class scorned us for a while, I guess she’ll make us write a self-review. You have to help me plead for mercy with my mom…”

It was the beginning of the economic development era. Although Liyun Town was only a small town, some “nouveau rich” had emerged there too. Sometimes, a car passed them by on the more spacious roads, often a squarish-looking Volkswagen Santana. After being engulfed in a cloud of sand and exhaust fumes when one roared past, Lin Jingzhe stopped feeling unreal, as if bundled in a bubble foil. The wailing complaints of his genuine third-year high school friend evoked memories of his past, and he couldn’t stop the bitter smile from appearing on his lips.

A self-review? As if it would be this simple.

1990 could be considered the defining year of Lin Jingzhe’s life. He graduated from high school and was about to begin a new life, but his grandfather’s death and the following series of accidents threw everything into chaos.

If the memories were true to what he experienced in his previous life, then during the first class, their class teacher Li Yurong would announce that the students whose examination performance was not promising will be transferred to Class 5. Unfortunately, Lin Jingzhe and Gao Sheng, and their other friend Zhou Haitang, were among them.

Gao Sheng and Zhou Haitang’s grades weren’t good, so they had always been a thorn in Li Yurong’s side. Lin Jingzhe used to be an excellent student, but his grandfather’s illness and death hit him hard, and he couldn’t concentrate on studying. The problem was, the last year of high school was a high-pressure period, loaded with coursework and exams. Although Lin Jingzhe was absent-minded for less than half a month, his academic results took a very obvious hit—he fell from the top 10 of the whole school to the top 30 of Class 1. The college entrance examination correlated with the upcoming teacher evaluations by the board of education. Because Gao Sheng’s mother was also a teacher, Li Yurong had had to bear with him, but now, she wasn’t going to hold back anymore.

During senior year, classes were ordered by performance, with Class 1 being the best. In his previous life, dropping from Class 1 to Class 5 so close to the college entrance exam was a crushing humiliation to Lin Jingzhe that, on top of his overwhelming grief, caused him to fall apart. As a result, his exam performance was terrible.

This set off a chain reaction of disasters and indirectly impacted the trajectory of Lin Jingzhe’s life. His inferior educational background caused others to doubt his ability and limited the possibility of a promotion. He floated about in a daze until he was in his thirties. Then, remembering the regrets and painful experiences of his life, he started mid-career studies, trying to escape the quagmire of hopelessness. However, it was too late—he had lost too much because of his inaction.

His friends Gao Sheng and Zhou Haitang did not get into public college, and they lacked money for the tuition at private colleges, so they simply gave up on studying and joined Liyun Town’s gang. At the time, local gangs dominated their corresponding areas, but they were just big fish in a small pond. A few years later, when the real big shots came, they steamrollered over these small fry. The bosses ran, leaving the subordinates to bear the blame. And so, one of Lin Jingzhe’s friends received a life sentence in prison, the other was executed. Their families were ruined, and either died or fled.

And mine…

Lin Jingzhe suddenly remembered his father lying on his deathbed, his aged face overflowing with tears, and his chest tightened so much that for a long moment, he couldn’t breathe. It was only after Gao Sheng stopped in front of the school gate and the bicycle jolted sideways that he woke up with a start.

“…What do you think?” Gao Sheng asked.

Lin Jingzhe hadn’t heard a word he said.

“Never mind.” At his blank look, Gao Sheng thought he was grief stricken again. He took a tin lunch box out of his hand-sewn bag and said, “I almost forgot—you haven’t eaten yet, right? My mom made her special onion pancakes and asked me to bring them to you.”

Gao Sheng’s mother, Hu Yu, was the teacher in charge of Class 5, and she also taught mathematics. It was widely known in school that Lin Jingzhe had no parents and was brought up by his grandfather. Because of this, Hu Yu took care of him like a mother and often sent Gao Sheng with a meal for him.

Lin Jingzhe thanked him and ate. Feeling the nostalgic taste, he nearly dissolved into tears.

When Gao Sheng was arrested, Hu Yu grew old overnight and died soon after the verdict of execution. On her deathbed, she still worried about Lin Jingzhe’s insomnia. Lin Jingzhe treated her as his own mother and sending her off drained the last of his strength. And yet, when he visited Gao Sheng in jail, he had to pretend to be unruffled and hide it from his friend.

But this time… In this life…

He swallowed the fragrant onion pancake through the lump in his throat, bowing his head to let the long bangs hide the tears glistening in his eyes. They turned the corner, and a jeer came from Class 1: “Lin Jingzhe? Your exam result is like that and you dare come to class?”

Lin Jingzhe’s heart skipped a beat. He lifted his head—sure enough, it was an old acquaintance: his cousin Jiang Run.

Jiang Run was the only son of Lin Jingzhe’s maternal aunt, and Lin Jingzhe had never gotten along with him. Unfortunately, they lived in a small town and were of the same age. They were classmates since they were small, and their animosity never ended.

When they were kids, it was because Jiang Run disliked Lin Jingzhe, who had no parents and yet his grades were always better. When they grew up, the reasons became more complicated.
Lin Jingzhe’s maternal grandfather, Jiang Jiping, had a few small businesses in Liyun Town. His will divided them between his children, but left the house he lived in, along with the collection of antiques inside, to Lin Jingzhe.

The old man’s arrangement was shrewd. He knew his children were not magnanimous, and Lin Jingzhe was only eighteen. Faced with that pack of wolves, he could never keep a company in his hands—to guarantee his life, it was better to leave him money. Although the bronze ware in his collection was extremely rare, the residents of Liyun Town had little interest in antiquities, and few people would know its value.

This decision, however, caused an uproar in the Jiang family.

Even Jiang Jiping did not think, when he had just fallen ill, his children had already determined the fate of his treasures. Though in Liyun Town nobody cared about them, out in the wider world there was no lack of connoisseurs.
There was a government official in the provincial capital who liked to collect antiques; sometime earlier, Lin Jingzhe’s aunt called in some favors and got acquainted with him, then promised him her father’s collection. Now, thanks to his aid, the business was prospering. The only thing left was to wait for the old man to die and fulfill her side of the deal.

Who would’ve expected her father would leave these things to Lin Jingzhe, a kid with a different surname! There was no need to be so impartial! This complicated everything. Aunt Jiang was so irate she cursed Lin Jingzhe at home every day, wishing upon him a sudden and violent death. Jiang Run soon knew his family would lose their good fortune because of his cousin, and his dislike turned into hate. When the mock exam results came out, and he heard Lin Jingzhe not only failed, but his score was over a hundred points lower than his own, he was beside himself with joy. So, he came early and waited in front of the classroom for Lin Jingzhe just so he could mock him.

Lin Jingzhe didn’t react, but that remark outraged Gao Sheng. He jumped to the front and shouted, “What did you say?! Say it again!”

“Is this any of your business? Oh, I forgot, you are that loser who’s always in the last place, Lin Jingzhe’s toady. What, want to hit me?” Jiang Run sent a contemptuous look at Lin Jingzhe’s slender arms. He had several friends waiting nearby. If Lin Jingzhe laid a finger on him, they would come out and help him vent his anger. Even if the school looked into the fight later, they would simply say they weren’t the ones to start it.

It was such a childish ploy Lin Jingzhe saw through it at a glance. He stopped Gao Sheng, whose face was red from anger, and finished the pancake. Although this provocation did not rile him, his heart wasn’t unperturbed.

It was because the shadow Jiang Run, or rather the whole Jiang family, cast on his life was far too dark and encompassing.

Lin Jingzhe did not understand what these antiques signified to the Jiang family until a long time later. At this age in his previous life, he was just an ignorant, inexperienced young man who saw little of the world. The bronze ware had sentimental value, it was something his Grandpa entrusted to him. He wasn’t willing to give it up… but the Jiang family had to have it.

In the early nineties, the rule of law in a small city like Liyun Town existed in name only. The Jiangs were bold. When persuasion failed, they entered the old house in broad daylight and simply removed the antiques. This made Lin Jingzhe furious. He wanted to pursue the matter but then his mother, who lived in the faraway provincial capital since he was small and never contacted him, made a solicitous phone call.

Lin Jingzhe was at his most vulnerable time. Having neither financial resources nor a source of income, his every day was full of hardships. He had no resistance against his mother’s affectionate image. Persuaded by the gentle voice resembling that of a Holy Mother, he tolerated “his family.” She also talked him into giving up the public college in Yan City and enrolling at the private college in the provincial capital proposed by her instead.

It took a long, long time until he finally realized all of this was nothing more than a scam. By then, it was too late—thanks to the gift of antiques, Jiangs had become the wealthiest, most powerful family in Liyun Town.

Out of the corner of his eye, Lin Jingzhe saw two figures rushing to the scene, and a faint smile appeared on his face. He let go of Gao Sheng then stepped closer to Jiang Run and chuckled softly, “What about my exam results? What does it have to do with you? Instead of me, you should be more concerned about your mother. She’s furious lately, isn’t she? This isn’t good for her health, you know. High blood pressure… Maybe she will soon—”

This stroke a raw nerve. Jiang Run stopped pretending to cower and straightened to his full height. He grabbed Lin Jingzhe by the collar and raised a fist, screaming furiously, “I’m gonna fucking kill you—”

“Stop!”

When he was about to beat his cousin up, he heard a loud shout from behind, and it scared him so much he almost peed his pants. When he glanced over his shoulder, his legs turned to jelly—the director of Moral Education Office was standing not too far away with their class teacher, and his expression was too ugly to look at.

Jiang Run was tall and pudgy. There was a stark contrast between him and pale, slender Lin Jingzhe, especially when they stood so close to each other.

The director berated, “What are you doing?! You dare to beat your classmate? And you still call yourself a student!”

When Li Yurong, the teacher in charge of Class 1, saw this scene, she hesitated, but Jiang Run’s exam results were good so she was biased in his favor.

Wanting to get him off the hook, she said, “You too, Lin Jingzhe! All day, you do nothing but fool around instead of improving your grades. It takes two to make a quarrel; the trouble you cause is getting worse and worse!”

Lin Jingzhe did not speak, only lowered his eyes with a resigned expression, as if he was used to it.

“Very good!” The director of Moral Education Office already had a bad opinion of Li Yurong because of her unclear relations with the principal, and the arbitrary transfer of students between classes she came to announce did not help any either. When he heard her try to shift the blame in such a blatant way, he became furious. “You, the one with a raised fist, what is your name?” he asked, cutting to the chase.

A student nearby who detested Jiang Run replied immediately, “Teacher, he’s called Jiang Run!”

“Jiang Run, is it?” The director despised Li Yurong, and Jiang Run had the bad luck to become the scapegoat for his anger. “The National College Entrance Examination is about to begin, and you still have the mind to bully your classmates! You’re getting a demerit, you will write a self-review before Monday, and you have to publicly apologize during the flag-raising ceremony!”

“Director—” Li Yurong was shocked. The public apology was still fine as it hurt nothing except for pride, but getting a demerit was a big deal because it would stay on Jiang Run’s record. This would affect Jiang Run’s chances of joining the Communist Youth League and the Chinese Communist Party, and even his high school graduation.

Last time they met, Jiang Run’s mother bribed her to help Jiang Run get one of the school’s recommendations for admission to Qunnan University. This required students to have excellent academic performance and exemplary conduct, and their record had to be spotless. Now he had no chance.

The director ignored her and entered the classroom.

Dismissed like this, Li Yurong was not happy. Then she realized that the fifty thousand yuan she was promised just went up in smoke, and her mood got even worse. She sent Jiang Run a furious glare and followed the director into the classroom.

Bewildered, Jiang Run looked at their backs with dismay. A moment later, he remembered what his mother said about the recommendation and realized what just happened, and his face became deathly pale.

Lin Jingzhe pulled his collar out of his opponent’s suddenly weak grip, smoothed his school uniform jacket, then patted his cousin on the shoulder. This pat had almost no force, yet it almost made Jiang Run collapse on the ground in a limp pile.

Lin Jingzhe looked at the other boy’s lifeless appearance and smiled indifferently. “Get a grip, cousin.”