Part-Time Taoist Priest 32

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Heist

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Seals were important religious artifacts in Taoism. There were many types of seals, each with different functions, like the commander seals for giving orders to spirit soldiers and seals of office representing the offices of Taoist clerics.

Most people might think that the sword was the most representative of Taoist priests’ tools. However, to Taoist practitioners, the seal was more important. For example, the Tai Qing Grand Master Seal could be used to invoke the gods or used on talismans that required the help of the Lao Jun.

Seals inherited from ancient times were even more impressive.

For example, the Yangpingzhi Dougong Seal used by Zhang Daoting got its name from one of the 24 parishes of the Way of the Five Pecks of Rice. Yangpingzhi was the parish led by the Celestial Master himself.

Therefore, the Yangpingzhi Dougong Seal was not only a powerful magical tool, it was also a sacred relic of the Zheng Yi Sect, a sign of the identity of the Celestial Master.

It was also an ancient artifact that was carefully housed at a museum.

Xie Lingya did not know who was so daring as to steal such an important artifact. Did the thief think of the consequences? They would face not only the might of the law but also the wrath of the Zheng Yi priests.

“This person must’ve made preparations long beforehand and isn’t afraid of curses,” Shi Changxuan said. “The hall exhibiting the seal had protective talismans but the spell was destroyed. The provincial Taoist association examined the crime scene. The seal was likely stolen by a highly-skilled Taoist practitioner. They weren’t able to track the person down.”

“One of our own?” Xie Lingya was shocked. No wonder this person dared to steal the Dougong Seal. A highly skilled and bold practitioner. “They didn’t leave any clues at all?”

Humans may not have been present but gods and spirits existed everywhere. Taoist priests could communicate with the supernatural. The thief must’ve concealed their identity and hidden their tracks if even the provincial Taoist association couldn’t trace them.

Shi Changxuan thought for a moment before saying, “They could only deduce that the person is probably of the Shen Xiao Sect.”

The Shen Xiao Sect was the predecessor of the Zheng Yi Sect, a branch of the Way of the Celestial Master. Founded by Wang Wenqing, the sect’s main area of expertise was lightning spells. 

The Shen Xiao Sect was closely related to the Zheng Yi Sect—after all, they were of the same origin. However, there were still many branches beneath the Shen Xiao Sect. 

This clue was too generic and couldn’t pinpoint any specific branch. Moreover, this was deduced from the spell used by the thief during the heist. That was why they could only say “probably” as the thief might not be from Shen Xiao Sect at all.

Unexpectedly, even Baoyang Temple was related to the Shen Xiao Sect.

Back in the day, Sa-zu, Sa Shoujian, had received guidance and inherited lightning spells from Wang Wenqing and Lin Lingsu of the Shen Xiao Sect. After that, Sa-zu’s disciples gradually formed different branches of the Sa-zu Sect, the Xi He Sect, the Tian Shan Sect, etc.

Spirit Official Wang was a disciple of Sa-zu. Baoyang Temple revered the Spirit Official as the founder, therefore they could be considered distantly related to the Shen Xiao Sect.

The relationships and connections within Taoism were complicated. It was too difficult to ascertain the identity of the thief just by knowing that they could use a spell of the Shen Xiao Sect.

“There are so many great masters in the provincial Taoist association, including the family of the Celestial Master and yet they couldn’t find this person,” Xie Lingya said, astonished. “This person must be very powerful. No guesses at all?”

“China is so big.” Shi Changxuan could only explain so. And it was logical. Other than those in the Taoist association, hidden talents lay among the citizenry. “The thief was well prepared and didn’t leave many clues behind.”

A highly skilled practitioner taking on the unprepared. Even the masters from the provincial seat couldn’t find anything, let alone someone not learned of the different sects like Xie Lingya.

Xie Lingya thought, But this person won’t be able to hide forever, they will definitely find him sooner or later.

Shi Changxuan’s family was also of a Zheng Yi branch and was based in the provincial capital. Therefore they called to inform Shi Changxuan.

“There will be an announcement over the next few days,” Shi Changxuan said.

The Yangpingzhi Dougong Seal was too important and had great historical significance. The efforts to chase down the seal would be out in full force, whether from the government or the Zheng Yi Sect.

The next day, Shi Changxuan left for the provincial capital. He needed to return home.

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After another two days passed, Niuyang Taoist Association held a meeting to discuss this matter.

But of course, this was a secret off-record meeting. Chen Sansheng gathered everyone in the business and dropped another bombshell of an announcement.

—The night after the Dougong Seal was stolen, the San Wu Evil-Slaying Twin Swords also disappeared without a trace.

Before Celestial Master Zhang ascended to heaven, he’d left three treasures: the twin swords, a seal, and a nail. The nail, which could be burned to summon the Celestial Master, was lost to time. The Dougong Seal was just stolen from the museum.

Now, the remaining San Wu Evil-Slaying Twin Swords curated by the descendants of the Celestial Master were also missing.

The San Wu Evil-Slaying Twin Swords were regarded as the most powerful among the existing Taoist magic swords. The swords were inscribed with symbols and celestial signs. They weren’t kept together: the male sword was venerated in the family altar of the Celestial Master while the female sword was kept in the Celestial Master’s Palace.

The day after the seal went missing, the two swords were stolen from these two different places at the same time.

In this age, the Zheng Yi Sect and Quan Zhen Sect were the main sects of Taoism. The treasures left by the Zheng Yi founding master were stolen. This news sent shockwaves across the whole Taoist circle.

Why did this person steal the seal and the swords? 

How did he do it? 

What was he going to do with them? 

To be sold off as artifacts or for his own use? 

And what was the identity of this person?

When Chen Sansheng finished speaking, the crowd rumbled noisily with chatter. Everyone was shocked and had many questions.

Xie Lingya had caught wind of this beforehand so he was less surprised than the others, but he didn’t know the swords had also gone missing. Shi Changxuan had not yet returned.

“The damned thief is unquestionably an experienced practitioner. We are announcing this news because we hope that everyone will pay attention to this matter. Anyone with information regarding the theft, please report it. If the information turns out to be relevant, then you will receive a reward from the state, the association, and the Celestial Master’s family, totaling more than 1 million yuan,” Chen Sansheng said solemnly. “We hope everyone will join in making a prayer to…”

When Xie Lingya heard that the reward for reporting information was a million yuan, he sat upright in his seat. He got even more excited when he heard about making a prayer. Here it comes, here it comes, summoning all the Taoist priests in the world to curse the thief?

But Chen Sansheng continued, “…The venerated founders, the city gods, and other divine spirits to aid in this matter.”

Not a curse. Xie Lingya was slightly disappointed. On the other hand, there wasn’t much of a clue, so cursing wouldn’t have been easy either.

Letting everyone go home to pray to the divine spirits was actually another way to collect information. Wasn’t it just normal for Taoist priests to ask for help from the supernatural?

The priests, hearing the suggestion, huddled around to discuss the matter.

Chen Sansheng printed out photos of the Dougong Seal and the Twin Swords to be distributed to each person.

No one had time to be worried about losing face with the two treasures missing, and fearing the matter would be taken advantage of, the authorities quickly and openly requested intel.

Xie Lingya examined the photo for a moment and put it away. Although the chances of finding the thief in such a big country with so many people were remote, at least Niuyang was not far away from the provincial capital and the Celestial Master’s Palace. What if he got lucky?

Even providing information could get a reward of 1 million. On top of sympathizing with the museum and the Celestial Master’s family, Xie Lingya was really short on funds; the reward was really tempting.

When Xie Lingya came home from the meeting, he saw that Shi Changxuan had also returned.

“Shi Daozhang, we just had a meeting. They are openly requisitioning information on the Dougong Seal and the Twin Swords,” Xie Lingya said. “Do you have any news?”

Shi Changxuan replied solemnly, “When I arrived home, the other practitioners had gathered in the provincial capital to discuss the matter of tracking down the seal. They have tried many methods but couldn’t identify the thief. That same night, the Twin Swords were also stolen. Just like last time, there weren’t many traces left behind. And this time, the person even used the Dougong Seal to deal with the guardian spirits guarding the swords.”

Just like the Dougong Seal, the Twin Swords were also protected by talismans and spells. But the person already had the Dougong Seal, so breaking the protection was probably even easier than before.

The priests from the provincial Taoist association examined the scene at the Celestial Master’s Palace, but as before, they only got the vague clue that the thief might be of the Shen Xiao Sect.

Shi Changxuan did not elaborate on the details, but Xie Lingya knew that the Shen Xiao Sect was most well known for their lightning spells. It was likely that the thief used a lightning talisman, therefore the suspect was deduced to be a disciple of the Shen Xiao Sect.

Still, the relationships between the sects were so intertwined and complicated. Some Shen Xiao Sect’s lightning spells could even invoke Sa-zu. Baoyang Temple also passed down lightning spells.

Hopefully, the artifacts are found quickly, Xie Lingya thought. It would be best if he could contribute and earn those 1 million yuan!

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In his spare time, Fang Zhe made Pokeweed a small bed as promised. Made of willow wood, it was an ancient four-poster bed.

The bed was tiny but all the components were complete: pillars, curtains, carvings, etc. It was given a maroon varnish. After it dried, it was an intricate miniature of a four-poster bed for adults.

Xie Lingya placed the bed on the table and admired it like it was art.

This was the first time Xie Lingya saw the result of Fang Zhe’s craftsmanship. Before, he had only seen photos of some furniture Fang Zhe had made. He never thought that such a small item could be made with this much intricacy. “As expected of a student of the Book of Lu Ban. You should’ve opened a furniture shop when you started your own business.”

Fang Zhe put on the drapes he’d made himself on the mini bed and said, “I did work in a furniture shop, the kind that accepted custom orders. I only know how to make those old designs from the book. The customers placing custom orders either wanted the most simple modern style or asked me to design something for them, but they were always dissatisfied with my designs and kept telling me to make changes. I was so fed up. What’s more, this leg of mine can’t keep up with the heavy workload so I quit.”

“It is a lot of work to make designs,” Xie Lingya nodded. He put the mattress on the tiny bed frame and asked Shi Changxuan to put Pokeweed on it.

Shi Changxuan did so. 

Pokeweed had already been sobbing inconsolably when they were arranging the sheets. Luckily, Pokeweed couldn’t actually cry tears or move—Shi Changxuan didn’t even want to imagine what the situation would be like if it could.

“You still don’t want to speak?” Xie Lingya leaned on the table and asked Pokeweed with mirth.

Every time he got up close to Pokeweed, the whispering sprite would stop speaking. Except for the time he’d joked about throwing it away and Pokeweed started singing, all other times had Shi Changxuan relaying the messages.

Pokeweed held back for a while before it said shyly, “…Chu~”¹A kissing noise.

Shi Changxuan stood nearby but could not hear what Pokeweed said. He saw Xie Lingya listening to the sprite for a while. Then Xie Lingya started laughing and reciprocated with a kissing noise of his own: “Mua mua.”²Also a kissing noise.

Shi Changxuan: “……”

He should’ve guessed it. What else would Pokeweed have said?

Zhang Daoting came in with fruits in one hand, and an exam admission ticket in the other. Upon seeing the bed, he jested, “This little fellow is living better than we are.”

Xie Lingya took the ticket and thanked Zhang Daoting. He had asked for Zhang Daoting’s help to print the admission ticket in a copy shop nearby. 

Soon, in December, the graduate school entrance examinations would commence. This was the second time he was taking the exam. He was a few points short of the acceptance score last year.

Baoyang Temple had three Taoist priests now and could maintain daily operations. Xie Lingya could go to class without affecting the temple. As for drawing talismans, taking jobs, and looking for disciples, he could do it after school.

Father Xie even called to remind him, as if worried that he wouldn’t take the exam.

“Director Xie, do you know why you are so good in the Taoist arts but did not pass the graduate school entrance examinations?” Hai Guanchao asked mockingly.

Hai Guanchao had mentioned this before. He was always envious of Xie Lingya’s talent in learning Taoist arts like a sponge absorbing water. He felt better with Xie Lingya’s failure in the examination, so he brought it up again.

Xie Lingya harrumphed. “Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.”

“No. It is because you did not use the right methodology” Hai Guanchao said. “If you had cast a spell before going for the exams, you would’ve made it. Don’t tell me you don’t know how to. If you don’t know, can’t you learn it in 10 minutes?”

Xie Lingya: “……”

“Isn’t that cheating?” he pondered. “Ah, forget it. I have already prayed to Wen Chang Di Jun. I can make a divination reading though.”

Although he had not made a reading, he could always do the reading himself or ask someone else to do it.

At this moment, Shi Changxuan said, “Pokeweed made a prediction: Daunting without mishap.”

“Daunting without mishap? Looks like I will pass close to the acceptance score.” Xie Lingya caressed Pokeweed. “Is it true? That’d be great.” 

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The time for the exam arrived in the blink of an eye. Xie Lingya was assigned to the examination hall in Niuyang City First Middle School.

Father Xie called a day earlier to remind Xie Lingya of important matters and urged him to go to the examination hall early. Xie Lingya replied, exasperated, “This is the second time I’m taking the exam. How would I not know?” 

However, he still followed Father Xie’s advice and arrived early.

Xie Lingya had breakfast near the school, then sat down by a flower bed while waiting to enter the hall. After a while, he got up to look for the toilet, deciding to take care of business before the exam.

It was the weekend and the school was occupied for examinations, so there were basically no students. Xie Lingya wandered along the ground floor and followed the sign to the toilet.

It was still early and the toilet was empty. 

When he entered, a few bloody marks were visible on the mirror. Looking closely, one could make out the words “Death to all who see this” written in the traditional font.

“???” Xie Lingya approached the mirror to scrutinize the words. It was indeed blood and not red paint. The stench of blood had a hint of yin energy to it.

Xie Lingya used the toilet first and then continued to stare at the scrawled words as he washed his hands. 

Que Shan province was mountainous. Many buildings in Niuyang were built along the hills, and so was Niuyang First Middle School. For this reason, the school was damp, especially the ground floor and areas around the toilet.

Footsteps and voices came from outside. Xie Lingya hurriedly took a photo of the words, then wiped the blood away with a rag that was lying around.

By the time the people outside entered, he had just finished cleaning the mirror. He washed his hands and left as if nothing happened.

The words seemed like a curse and one that was particularly unreasonable. On what basis should I die just because I saw the words? Because I came to use the toilet early?

Xie Lingya thought the “daunting without mishap” that Pokeweed spoke of might not have been related to the score but could’ve referred to this instead.

Damn it, no, no one can stop me from taking the exam!

Just then, Xie Lingya saw two people with examiner tags walking this way. They brushed their shoulders but Xie Lingya didn’t pay any attention.

The two examiners spoke in hushed voices:

“There really are words. Go have a look. Last night something knocked on the cubicle I was in. If it was not for the talisman my wife gave me, I would’ve been a goner right then and there. I told the head examiner but he won’t let me take a leave…”

“Um, then don’t go to that toilet next time. Don’t think too much.”

Xie Lingya gave Zhang Daoting a call as he walked away.

In the toilet, the two examiners were confused:

“No, really, there really were words here yesterday. I saw it.”

“Um, maybe you were hallucinating…”

“No no, maybe the cleaners wiped it off!”

“But the cleaners are not working today.”

“Then it must be someone else. There were definitely words. I saw it.”

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Xie Lingya entered the examination hall, waited to receive the test, and was elated as he scanned through the questions. He realized that he had come across similar types of questions in his revision. His confidence grew and his pen flew across the paper as he answered.

He had prepared for two years after all. When the examination ended, Xie Lingya left with a smile, feeling good about himself.

But Xie Lingya did not return to the temple immediately. Instead, he collected a bag from the convenience store next to the school. He had asked Zhang Daoting to send his tools and safe-keep them in the store.

Xie Ling carried the bag and returned to the school after having a meal nearby. He couldn’t simply go into the examination hall but other areas were still accessible.

Xie Lingya found a place to sit down and casually played with his phone. He waited for night to descend and headed to the building from before.

Unlike usual, where there might’ve been people self-studying inside, the building was empty now.

Xie Lingya went to the toilet, bag in hand, and flipped the lights on. There was no one inside.

He opened a cubicle and used the toilet.

“Tsss.”

The light bulb buzzed, and the light started flickering.

Xie Lingya sent Zhang Daoting a message to let him know that he had forgotten his keys and to ask him not to lock the doors.

Pa.

The toilet plunged into darkness.

Something slapped against the door of the cubicle as if someone was knocking on the door.

Using the light from his cell phone, Xie Lingya peered under the gap of the cubicle door. There were no feet. 

He had a thought. He pulled on his pants and took the cinnabar out from his bag.

Because Xie Lingya remained silent, the presence outside became more emboldened. The knocks became more rapid, echoing in the dark space and the long corridors outside. The thumping sound resonated with the heart, urging it to beat faster.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

In the end, the thing slammed against the door, the lock rattling from the blows.

Xie Lingya finished drawing the Spirit Official’s Divine Eye without lifting his head. He slung the bag over his shoulders then pulled open the door abruptly.

A round object, short and fat, burst into the cubicle. Its two eyes were red and drool dripped from its mouth. It held a piece of rope in its hand.

In one fell swoop, Xie Lingya stomped on the thing’s back and held his peach wood sword against it.

“……” The thing was taken by surprise, its red eyes widened. Then it froze in fear.

Xie Lingya picked it up and slammed it against the floor. The thing slumped on the floor, then scurried to a corner. 

Xie Lingya chased after it and stepped on it a few times. “What ghost is this? So ugly.”

He had felt so as soon as he first laid eyes on the creature, but he’d seized the ghost reflexively, and only had time to comment afterward.

This thing declared “Death to all who see this.” Such arrogant words, why so ugly and cowardly now?

He pondered for a moment—maybe it was a toilet ghost. Toilets were inherently dirty and heavy with yin energy. Some supernatural creatures were born in such an environment. 

These ghosts peeped at people going to the toilet and frightened them. As time passed, they could even learn to harm people, using belts to strangle them. 

The toilet ghosts came in all kinds of shapes but all of them were very ugly.

—How detestable! Fortunately, Xie Lingya was prepared. Had it been a normal person, they would’ve wet themselves after being scared like that.

The toilet ghost squealed under Xie Lingya’s feet. It realized that it could not run away so it hunched on the floor and begged for mercy, “Master, Master! I just wanted to scare you! Please spare me!”

Xie Lingya stomped on it again and replied angrily, “To hell with you! Didn’t you want me dead? Even writing on the mirror to frighten me!”

The toilet ghost rolled over, its four short limbs flailing in the air. It cried, “I did not! I did not!”

“I wiped those bloody words off myself.” Xie Lingya picked it up again and slammed it on the floor. “You are done for. I’m taking my graduate exams these two days. My father said I should be calm and peaceful, and here you are, trying to scare me.”

The toilet ghost held its head and cried, “No, Master! I wrote that yesterday to scare another person! It really wasn’t written for you!”

It must’ve been mad thinking it could scare this person. It was the one getting frightened! 

This person beat him up without a word after opening the door.

Xie Lingya: “……?”

Xie Lingya’s foot stepped on the ghost and he started thinking. The bloodstains this morning did look congealed…. Um… did he jump to conclusions and overreact?

The ghost tried to squirm away from underneath his foot.

Xie Lingya held it in place and concluded coldly, “It is even worse if you wanted to harm my examiner. If something happens and the examination hall turns into a crime scene, how am I supposed to take the test?”

Toilet ghost: “……”

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Translator: Velvet
Editors: Miiya, Darkchocolatesan
Proofreader: Taalia, Eques
QC: Eques

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