Part-Time Taoist Priest 31

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The Book of Lu Ban

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“What was the last thing you ate before falling sick?” Hai Guanchao asked the patient sitting in front of him.

This patient’s complexion was yellowish-green. His limbs were slim but his stomach bulged out like a five-month pregnant woman. In a weak and hollow voice, he recounted everything he had eaten, one by one.

The patient had visited many hospitals in the last two months due to his condition. Occasionally his condition would get better, but he never fully recovered.

Noticing the patient’s bad mood, Hai Guanchao said, “It’s just parasites in your guts. I have a prescription for your symptoms. You’ll get better after taking a few doses.”

“Really?!” There were others who diagnosed his condition as a parasitic infection too, but nobody had been as certain as Hai Guanchao. Moreover, he was the first to have a prescription for it. 

Suddenly, he saw the light at the end of the tunnel. He was happy but at the same time feared that it wasn’t true.

He was recommended to the clinic by a friend and decided to just give it a shot, not really expecting anything.

“Yes, but you might have diarrhea and vomit to expel the parasites. Be mentally prepared,” Hai Guanchao said.

The patient was still in a state of euphoria. He was happy he could be cured, what did he care about having diarrhea and vomiting? He nodded fervently.

“Diarrhea is one thing, but vomiting is just too disgusting,” Xie Lingya, who was sitting nearby, said.

Hai Guanchao prepared the prescription and sent off the patient before turning his attention to Xie Lingya. He shook his head and said, “Actually he would only vomit, he won’t have diarrhea. I lied to him.”

Xie Lingya: “……”

This meant that the parasite would definitely be expelled through the mouth? Gross!

Hai Guanchao explained, “This is known as the Dragon-Biting Illness. Ancient physicians believed that dragons roamed the human realm and ejaculated on vegetables. When people ate these tainted vegetables, baby dragons would be born in their stomachs and wreak havoc. The cure was to use cooling medicine to induce vomiting and expel the dragons. In actuality, it was just that they couldn’t identify parasites in those days.”

When food was not processed properly, it could contain parasites and cause illness. There were many types of parasites; some grew in the stomach, some in the brain. Sometimes even the hospitals couldn’t correctly diagnose it and provide treatment. It was not uncommon that the symptoms persisted for a few years.

After listening to Hai Guanchao, Xie Lingya wondered out loud, “What on earth was the dragon doing in the field that it ejaculated? Was it with other animals or was it just having fun by itself…”

Hai Guanchao: “……”

Hai Guanchao: “Director Xie, please have some decency. This is only a tale.”

Xie Lingya replied, well-behaved, “Oh, I see.”

Hai Guanchao then changed the topic, “I plan to rent the shop next door as well. And I’m short of manpower. I’m handling everything on my own, I want to hire someone to brew the medicine. I’m letting the patients brew the medicine themselves or at another shop. But I’m still worried. The brewing process affects the effectiveness of the medicine after all.”

“Yes, yes. That is true.” Xie Lingya nodded.

As expected of a man who was driven away by his peers, in the span of a few months, Hai Guanchao’s business in Niuyang was getting better and better. He had cured many strange ailments, like the patient just now. He had made a name for himself by word of mouth and many came, attracted by his reputation.

Now, he was even expanding his clinic.

“I’ll help you post a recruitment ad then. Mainly to assist you, correct? Doesn’t need to be a doctor?” Xie Lingya asked.

“I don’t get along with my peers,” Hai Guanchao said bluntly.

That was true. Hai Guanchao practiced traditional medicine passed down in his family which had some controversial content in the modern-day, such as the Taisu Pulse Technique. For this reason, rather than someone with medical education, he preferred a helper who knew nothing. The job wasn’t technically demanding and he had his own methods, so he would have to retrain the person if they knew too much.

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In the evening, Xie Lingya posted a recruitment ad online on behalf of Hai Guanchao. Perhaps because he spent most of his time on medicine, despite only being a few years older than Xie Lingya, Hai Guanchao wasn’t familiar with the internet.

The phone rang. Seeing the caller ID, Xie Lingya immediately went into his room to answer the call.

“Hello?”

A gentle female voice came from the other end of the line, “Lingya, your father fell down and broke his leg. We just got to the hospital. He told me not to call you, but I thought I should let you know.”

“Broke his leg? Please let me know the room number. I’m coming over now,” Xie Lingya said.

“It’s late, why don’t you come tomorrow?”

“No, it’s fine. The buses are still running,” Xie Lingya said and hung up.

The caller was the second wife of Xie Lingya’s father, Song Jing. The couple were colleagues, teaching in the same school. They got together when Xie Lingya was in high school.

At the time, Xie Lingya threw a tantrum. He started studying hard so that he could get into a university far away. But after some time, when even his uncle approved of their relationship, he came around. However, he and Song Jing could only be considered acquainted, as they never quite warmed up to each other.

“My father broke his leg, I’m heading down to have a look,” Xie Lingya told the others and rushed out the door. Father Xie taught in a secondary school in a town under the administration of Niuyang City. They usually referred to heading there as heading down.

The temple no longer needed Xie Lingya to be present all the time. Everyone showed their concern and urged him to hurry so that he wouldn’t miss the bus.

The last bus heading to the town would depart at 9.30 p.m. If he missed it, he’d have to take a taxi. Thankfully, he made it in time.

The bus was half full when he got on. He found a place in the back and sat down.

When the bus was about to depart, another person got on board. Xie Lingya was playing on his phone when the person, who was just passing by him, tripped. Instinctively, he held the person up. “Are you alright?”

It was then that he saw clearly that the person was handicapped and was lame in one leg. He took a quick glance and looked away. “Would you like to sit here?”

The man smiled at Xie Lingya and sat down. “Thank you.”

Xie Lingya felt something familiar about his smile, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He didn’t dwell on it much since he was worried about his father’s condition.

Song Jing sent him a text message, informing him of the room number. She also told him that Father Xie lost his footing when changing the lightbulb in the corridor. She reminded him not to ask too much later in order to avoid embarrassing his father who was slightly thin-skinned.

Xie Lingya leaned against the bus window to catch a short nap but the children on the bus kept making noise. He couldn’t rest so he resumed playing on his phone.

A section of the road between Niuyang City and the town was bumpy, as the roads were in bad condition. Xie Lingya felt the bus jolt and a child fell face-first in the aisle right next to him. When the child got up, there was a gash on his mouth and blood flowed profusely from the wound.

The man next to Xie Lingya quickly helped the child up, “Whose kid is this? He’s bleeding!”

No one responded. The other passengers were unconcerned.

The child wailed loudly. His mouth got even more painful as he cried. The man held the child and wiped his mouth with a tissue, but the wound was too big and it was of no help.

Xie Lingya saw the situation and recited the bleeding-stopping incantation: “Clear blood, do not flow, turbid blood, do not surge…”

At the same time, the man also opened his mouth, “Inner blood, stop spilling, outer blood, stop flowing…”

Their words came to an abrupt halt and the two glanced at each other.

The wording was different, but both had the intent to stop the bleeding. Someone from the same line of work?

Xie Lingya raised his hand, “Please, go ahead.”

“……” The person felt inexplicably embarrassed but still recited his spell softly while drawing a symbol on the child’s wound. “Inner blood, stop spilling, outer blood, stop flowing. Humans worry when they see me, ghosts fear when they see me. If ten see me, ten are worried. Laojun sits by the entrance, blood dares not flow…”

The spell was completed with a stomp of his foot. The blood on the child’s lip stopped gushing.

The child ceased crying. He could feel that his lip had stopped bleeding, and had heard the man recite a spell softly. It was just like in cartoons. The child stared at the man dumbfounded.

It was only then that the child’s father came to the back. The father was rubbing his eyes as if just awoken from sleep. “What happened?”

The child looked at his father and shouted, “Papa, these two brothers are gods!”

He had heard and seen these two gods politely let the other cast the spell!

Xie Lingya had a calm expression as if it had nothing to do with him at all.

The father didn’t think much about the child’s words either and reached out to hold him.

“The kid fell down when the bus jolted just now.” The man handed the child over to the father, then said, “It’s better not to let children run around in the bus, it’s dangerous.”

“Thank you. Thank you.” The father held the child and reprimanded him.

The child turned his head to stare at the two ‘gods’ with wide-open eyes.

The man looked away resigned. Then he met Xie Lingya’s eyes and gave an awkward chuckle.

“Hey… are you Fang Zhe?” Xie Lingya asked suddenly.

The man paused for a moment and scrutinized Xie Lingya’s face. “You… are you Xie Lingya?”

“It really is you! I thought you looked familiar.” After watching him cast the bleeding-stopping spell and seeing his familiar smile, Xie Lingya suddenly remembered who he was.

Xie Lingya spent a lot of time at his uncle’s place when he was young. His uncle’s friend brought Fang Zhe over a few times which was when they met. But later they went to different schools and he visited his uncle less often. Communication wasn’t as convenient back in those days. Moreover, Fang Zhe stayed in the village, so slowly they stopped meeting each other.

Fang Zhe’s elder, in Xie Lingya’s memory, didn’t wear Taoist robes but seemed to be involved in the mystics too, a peer of his uncle. Fang Zhe and Xie Lingya were both interested in such things at the time, so the two often secretly observed their work.

“It has been more than 10 years since we last met,” Fang Zhe sighed. “How is your uncle?”

Xie Lingya replied dejectedly, “My uncle passed away.” 

Fang Zhe was stunned, then he also said sadly, “My great-uncle also passed on a few years ago.”

Both seniors in their families were no longer in the mortal realm. They went silent for a moment before Xie Lingya spoke up again carefully, “What happened to your leg?”

He recalled that Fang Zhe’s leg was fine when he was young.

Fang Zhe’s expression turned a little strange and some complex emotions appeared in his eyes. He said, “After my great-uncle passed, I learned the Book of Lu Ban on my own.”

Xie Lingya’s expression changed. 

Both of them experienced the passing of a senior family member before stepping into this line of work and yet their fate was different. Fang Zhe’s great-uncle was a practitioner of the Book of Lu Ban. The book which was purportedly written by Lu Ban also had some ties to Taoism.

The book included topics on architecture, mechanics, talismans, magic, curses, and so on. The bleeding-stopping incantation that Fang Zhe used was also from the Book of Lu Ban.

However, the most important part, the methods to practice the magic, was passed down by oral tradition from practitioner to practitioner. Outsiders could not discern the key to mastery just by reading the text.

Another important aspect of practicing the Book of Lu Ban was ‘lacking one’. Single, widowed, orphaned, childless, or disabled, those who practiced the Book of Lu Ban would have one of these misfortunes befall them. Fang Zhe’s great-uncle for example, never married.

Fang Zhe’s parents were divorced. His mother remarried, while his father worked away from home and also remarried later, so Fang Zhe had grown up with his great-uncle. 

His great-uncle had refused to teach the book to Fang Zhe because he didn’t want Fang Zhe to end up like himself. His great-uncle had no students, but he would rather the knowledge be lost than let Fang Zhe learn it.

At the time, Fang Zhe thought that his situation was no different than being orphaned. Maybe he would be fine learning the book. Hence, Fang Zhe secretly took notice of his great-uncle’s methods and after his great-uncle’s passing, he started practicing the Book of Lu Ban by himself.

However, heaven destined him to become disabled. He had a car accident two years ago and ended up lame.

Upon hearing his childhood friend’s misfortune, Xie Lingya was saddened. “You really shouldn’t have practiced this.”

Fang Zhe shook his head, “I also regretted it once. But later I asked myself honestly if I had another chance, would I have withstood the temptation of learning the Book of Lu Ban? I think I would still have learned it anyway. After all, I have wanted to do so for such a long time.”

Everyone had their own path. Xie Lingya said nothing more. “Then, how are you doing now?”

“The town’s Disabled Federation provided some help and advised me to start my own business. But I don’t have the aptitude¹Referring to the study of Taoism, more in the spiritual/philosophical way.. I used the money to open a fruit shop but it wasn’t successful. Now I’m taking temporary jobs. I don’t have a stable job, after all… See, I’m unemployed again. I’m going back to stay for a while. I’ll try to look for another job after New Year.

Xie Lingya understood his unspoken words. Fang Zhe looked at Xie Lingya’s expression and laughed, “It’s nothing. When I’m free I even draw talismans and help people with feng shui. But there are fewer and fewer people who are concerned about these matters. What about you?”

Xue Lingya told him about his situation briefly and said, “Come over to my place for a visit. My friend is a very capable doctor. Maybe he could help you recover a little.”

Fang Zhe nodded nonchalantly, not holding any expectations, but was fine with visiting Xie Lingya.

Xie Lingya then added, “Oh, right, do you want to be a Taoist priest…”

“No no no, don’t try to persuade me to become a Taoist priest!” Fang Zhe shuddered. “This expression of yours says blatantly, rather than working, why not become a Taoist priest at your temple. Forget it. Even non-monastic priests have a lot of rules. Besides, I don’t have the aptitude.”

Xie Lingya was disappointed, “How could that be? You could even master the Book of Lu Ban.”

The bus reached the stop. The two exchanged their contact details and planned for Fang Zhe to visit in two days.

Xie Lingya had a few thoughts in his mind. The Book of Lu Ban also had some minor talismans. The sales of talismans in Baoyang Temple were now stable, but he was the sole provider. If possible, he would like to ask if Fang Zhe would be willing to draw talismans. This way, Fang Zhe could also earn some extra income. A win-win situation.

Xie Lingya said goodbye to Fang Zhe and alighted at the hospital stop.

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When Xie Lingya entered the room, Father Xie’s leg was already in a cast. Father Xie saw him and asked Song Jing angrily, “Why did you tell him?”

Song Jing smiled but did not say anything.

“Why can’t I be told?” Xie Lingya nodded to Song Jing and sat down. “I came in a hurry so I did not bring anything. What did the doctor say about your leg? You can’t go to class for the time being, right?”

Father Xie sighed and spoke to Xie Lingya. He seemed to be in good spirits, hence Xie Lingya felt less worried.

After a while, the nurse came to usher the visitors out for the patients to rest. Xie Lingya said to Song Jing, “I’ll send you downstairs. I’ll stay with dad here tonight, in case he needs help.”

Song Jing wanted to stay instead but seeing Xie Lingya’s insistence, she conceded as she didn’t want to fight him. They weren’t close after all.

Xie Lingya saw Song Jing out of the hospital. It was a small town and there was no need to send her home. 

But as he looked at Song Jing, Xie Lingya felt something different about her. Ever since he started practicing Taoist arts, his senses towards people and energies became more sensitive. It seemed that there was an extra sliver of life energy in Song Jing.

As they descended the building silently, Xie Lingya pondered on this matter. When they reached the entrance, Song Jing was about to say goodbye, but Xie Lingya said instead, “Let me send you home.”

Song Jing was surprised. She didn’t know why he changed his mind but thought he might have something to say. She headed home anxiously, but Xie Lingya said nothing along the way.

It was when Song Jing was entering the door that Xie Lingya spoke up, “…Aunty Song, when you come to the hospital tomorrow, do a medical check-up.”

“I’m fine. It’s your father who fell down, not me,” Song Jing said, baffled.

“There is no harm in doing a medical check-up,” Xie Lingya insisted. Luckily, it wasn’t Song Jing who fell down. He suspected that she was pregnant and hence the extra life energy. But he wasn’t a hundred percent certain.

Her stepson rarely requested anything, so after refusing a couple of times, she promised him that she’d do a check-up.

Xie Lingya looked after Father Xie for the night. There was not much to do except for helping him to the toilet due to the cast on his leg. The next morning, when Song Jing came, she brought them breakfast.

Song Jing remembered Xie Lingya’s words. “So… Should I go?”

“Go,” Xie Lingya said.

After Song Jing left, Father Xie asked, “What did you ask Aunty to do?”

He was curious. Xie Lingya and Song Jing rarely had many exchanges when they met.

Xie Lingya smiled but said nothing.

An hour later, Song Jing came back with a stunned expression on her face and a report in her hand.

Xie Lingya was just fetching water for his father. “How was it?”

Song Jing raised her hand and said, “…I’m pregnant.”

Father Xie spilled his cup of water all over the blanket and coughed, “Cough, what?”

Although they had not deliberately used any contraceptive, they had not had any children all these years. Song Jing was a little younger than him but she was already 37 years old. It was unexpected for her to get pregnant at this age.

Father Xie was surprised and delighted. He beckoned Song Jing over and held her hand. He asked about the result of the check-up and if the doctor gave any advice. After all, it was considered a high-risk pregnancy at her age.

“It’s fine…” Song Jing said as she turned to look at Xie Lingya. Compared to Father Xie, she was more stunned.

The baby was only a month old and she had yet to feel any different, but Xie Lingya had told her to do a medical check-up.

Could he tell that she was pregnant? This was the only logical explanation. She wasn’t close to Xie Lingya. Why else would he tell her to do a check-up all of a sudden? But how could  Xie Lingya tell that she was pregnant? Wasn’t he studying finance? 

Song Jing was so stunned she didn’t know what to say.

Father Xie on the other hand thought that she was concerned about Xie Lingya’s feelings. He felt a bit embarrassed and let go of her hand.

Xie Lingya smiled nonchalantly, “I’ll go ask the nurse and get you a caretaker. We shouldn’t let Aunty Song accompany you here.”

Father Xie sighed in relief. He knew Xie Lingya. Since Xie Lingya said this, then all should be well.

Xie Lingya spent another day in the hospital with his father and only left after the caretaker came. He promised to visit again next week.

Song Jing couldn’t find the chance to ask Xie Lingya about her pregnancy. After he left, she anxiously told Father Xie what happened.

Father Xie recalled Song Jing had strangely called out to Xie Lingya before she went for the check-up. He knew of Wang Yuji’s powers, including Xie Lingya’s history of jumping over the wall of people’s houses to do an exorcism. However, he never spoke of it, so Song Jing knew nothing about it.

Did Xie Lingya learn this from his uncle? Father Xie wondered. Although Xie Lingya had made a promise to him, he was now once again worried that Xie Lingya might go off to become a priest!

Xie Lingya did not know of his father’s internal conflicts and worries. He returned to Baoyang Temple and calmly announced to all concerned parties: His father had broken his leg, but it was not serious. On the brighter side, he would be having a younger sibling. 

The next day, Fang Zhe came as promised. Xie Lingya caught up with him and reminisced about their childhood.

Then Xie Lingya brought Fang Zhe to the clinic to let Hai Guanchao have a look at him.

During the diagnosis, Xie Lingya left with Zhang Daoting to solve some matters. When he returned, Hai Guanchao said to him, “You can take down the recruitment ad. I have decided to hire Xiao Fang.”

Xie Lingya: “???”

I brought him here for medical treatment, but the two of you were discussing work?

Fang Zhe smiled at Xie Lingya, “I had a chat with Doctor Hai. He said he was looking for help and I was looking for a job, so we came to an agreement immediately.”

Hai Guanchao was very satisfied with Fang Zhe. His handicap would not affect tasks such as organizing the herbs cabinet or brewing medicine.

What appealed to Hai Guanchao the most was that Fang Zhe was a practitioner of the Book of Lu Ban. There were some healing spells in the book. That was to say, Fang Zhe knew a little about medicine and could help out, yet wouldn’t get into conflict with him like his peers.

Xie Lingya didn’t know what to say. From their explanation, it seemed that the job was really suited for Fang Zhe.

Hai Guanchao had thought even further. When Fang Zhe came over to work in Niuyang, they could stay in one room. He didn’t mind, and they could also partition a small room for him when the clinic expanded.

Since they had both come to an agreement, Xie Lingya didn’t mind either. He said to Fang Zhe, “What should I say… I intended to hire you to draw talismans. Who would’ve thought you’d get snatched by Brother Hai first?”

“You need someone to draw talismans?” Fang Zhe appeared eager. “I have not drawn any in a long time. There wasn’t much demand.”

Hai Guanchao joked, “You can work both jobs.”

Hence, Fang Zhe joined the ranks to become Taisu Clinic’s second member. Like Hai Guanchao, he stayed in Baoyang Temple too and could be considered unofficial personnel of the temple.

Or at least that was what Xie Lingya said when he introduced Fang Zhe to the others.

Shi Changxuan looked contemplative when he heard that Fang Zhe was a practitioner of the Book of Lu Ban. “Years ago, my father met a man in another province who was proficient in the arts of Lu Ban, especially in the studies of machinery and mechanism. He proposed to combine machinery and talismans to achieve automation in exorcism.”

Xie Lingya: “……”

Xie Lingya: “…This senior is really ambitious. My childhood friend is well-learned too. I just discussed with him, other than supplying some minor talismans to be sold in the temple, he also agreed to help me build something.”

Shi Changxuan’s interest was piqued. “To be used in the temple?”

At this moment, Pokeweed cried in his ear, “Xie Lingya is awesome!!”

Shi Changxuan suddenly had a bad feeling, “……”

“Nope,” Xie Lingya touched Pokeweed on his shoulders and said seriously, “I asked him to make a small willow-wood bed about this size for Pokeweed. Next time, you can put Pokeweed to sleep on your windowsill, so that it can absorb the essences of the sun and moon.”

Shi Changxuan: “……”

Shi Changxuan was about to pluck the excitedly sobbing sprite from his shirt when his phone rang. He picked up the call, his expression turning serious as he listened.

Xie Lingya saw that something was amiss. “What’s the matter?”

Shi Changxuan replied gravely, “Yangpingzhi Dougong Seal was stolen.”

Shi Changxuan had previously explained the history of Yangpingzhi Dougong Seal to Xie Lingya. It was one of the three treasures passed down from Celestial Master Zhang. The seal had been used by Celestial Master Zhang personally and was supposed to be curated in the provincial museum.

Xie Lingya was astonished, “How could it get stolen from a museum? No, wait! Who is so daring? Aren’t they worried that they’d get cursed by all the priests of the Zhengyi Sect?”

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Translator: Velvet
TL checker: Darkchocolatesan
Editor: Miiya
Proofreader: Taalia, Eques
QC: Eques

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