To Raise a Soul 40.1

After they shouted the Taoist name “Qing Xu Zi”, everyone fell into a tacit silence. 

The scholarly middle-aged man looked at Feng Yuan. “Senior Feng, this…”

Feng Yuan shook his head with a frown. He muttered, “Suppress this news for now. I’ll handle it. Although the array in this building has been broken, its lingering effects are still around. Deal with that issue first to ensure the safety of the residents.”

The scholarly man nodded and tactfully kept quiet about the issue of Qing Xu.

Once they had touched down at the apartment, Yu Zhen immediately rushed into the bathroom and took a hot bath. Then, he climbed under the covers with a heavy heart.

Yin Yan stood by the bedside and looked at his damp hair. Stooping down, he touched a hand to Yu Zhen’s hair and dried it. “Would you like a warm glass of milk before sleeping?”

Yu Zhen shook his head. He turned around and smiled at Yin Yan. “I’m alright. It’s very late, let’s sleep.”

He then closed his eyes, making a show of wanting to sleep.

Yin Yan felt Yu Zhen’s internal self-loathing and helplessness transmitted from his heart. Seeing his determination to act strong despite not looking well, Yin Yan lowered his eyes, lifted the blanket, and slipped into bed. He pulled Yu Zhen closer and then gently patted his back.

“I really am f…” Yu Zhen struggled and tried to move back.

“You’ve got a damaged soul. After your soul receives a shock, there is a chance you’ll experience lost soul sickness again.” Yin Yan didn’t let go. Instead, he pressed Yu Zhen’s head onto his chest. He whispered, “You’re very cold. I’ll help you warm up.”

Yu Zhen stared blankly, shook his head, and replied, “But I’m not…”

After only saying half of what he had intended to, Yu Zhen stopped struggling. He pulled his hands back and stared in front of himself with widened eyes. He looked at the collar bones he had exposed with his struggling and felt the warmth from Yin Yan’s body. Bit by bit, his guilt and fear from ‘killing a person’ eased up.

“…Right, I’m cold. “

He lowered his head and tentatively stretched out his hand, slowly hugging Yin Yan’s waist. Finding that Yin Yan didn’t reject his move, he relaxed and melted fully into Yin Yan’s arms. With his head resting against Yin Yan’s chest, Yu Zhen shut his eyes again.

Badump. Badump. Badump.

Yu Zhen listened to the calm and steady heartbeat with his keen sense of hearing. 

It’s so nice. Subconsciously, Yu Zhen tightened his hold. Having this person beside me is very nice.

If I can always be with him. If I can…

“Thank you,” he murmured. Once he’d let his tension slacken, his tiredness crept in. “Goodnight.”

Yin Yan gently patted his back. Feeling Yu Zhen relax, he bowed his head and placed a kiss on Yu Zhen’s forehead. 

“Good night.”

Yu Zhen slept through the night with sweet dreams. He opened his eyes in a daze. The first things he saw were the beautiful lines of a neck and collar bones. When he looked up, he saw an enticing Adam’s apple, which seemed to invite him to take a bite. When he looked down, a sturdy and good looking chest was covered by pajamas. Instinctively, he felt unsatisfied. He moved his head lower in an attempt to shift the collar of the pajamas down.

“You’re awake?”

A cool voice came from above him. The chest which he leaned on vibrated slightly. Then his butt was lightly patted before he was moved aside.

“Get up and have some breakfast.”

Yin Yan sat up with a calm expression. He rearranged his pajamas, lifted the blanket, and walked towards the bathroom.

Yu Zhen stared dumbly at the retreating figure. His gaze fell on Yin Yan’s wide shoulders before being drawn to his waist. Finally, he looked a little lower… The lines of his butt look good. It must be very nice to touch.

Bang.

The bathroom door was shut, blocking his sight of the beautiful scenery.

Wait. Beautiful scenery? 

Yu Zhen was shocked back to reality. With widened eyes, he stared blankly for a short while before he made a realization. Trembling, he lifted the blanket and looked at himself. Faintly, he saw a small damp patch on his pajama pants. Fragmented parts of last night’s dream flashed through his mind. His heart raced and he dashed off the bed and into the guest bathroom next door.

If men don’t vent for a while, this or that kind of thing will undoubtedly show up in our dreams. It’s very normal. I’ve been an adult for many years. I won’t make a fuss over a little bit of physiological reaction.

But, what if the previously indistinct face and gender of the person suddenly became that of someone I know and I’m with every day and night?… And for a crazy moment, I was infatuated with that person… 

Knock, knock.

From the other side of the bathroom door, Yin Yan asked, “Why have you been in there for so long? Breakfast is ready. Come out and eat.”

Yu Zhen quickly pulled up his pants. Belatedly realizing that Yin Yan wasn’t able to see him, he loosened them again. He tried to keep his voice calm as he replied, “I-I’m coming. I-I’m a bit constipated.” 

Once he had finished speaking, Yu Zhen smacked his own mouth and covered his face in shame.

I’m finished! It’s over! I’m done for! Any excuse would have been better, so why did I say I was constipated!? I’m going to die of embarrassment.

Outside, Yin Yan was strangely silent for a while. Then he calmly said, “There are some commonly used pills in the pagoda tower. You can take them as appropriate.”

Yu Zhen’s face and ears were flushed red. He didn’t dare to try replying ‘calmly’. He raised his voice and made a sound in agreement. Then he pushed down hard on the flush handle, trying to use the noise to hide his embarrassment.

With the flushing sound, the sound of Yin Yan’s footsteps retreated.

Yu Zhen removed the hand which covered his face and looked in the mirror. He found his reflection wearing red cheeks and glistening eyes, looking as if he had just done something naughty. He hurriedly bent down and frantically splashed water onto his face. Unable to calm down, his heartbeat like a rabbit’s racing steps. 

At the breakfast table, Yu Zhen sat at the seat furthest away from Yin Yan and ate with a sullen mood. He neither looked nor spoke to Yin Yan.

Noticing his unsettled mood, Yin Yan guessed it must have been from last night’s experience. “Rest at home today. For the construction site, I…”

“Okay!” Yu Zhen nodded eagerly, and he accidentally met Yin Yan’s gaze. He moved his head down again and then shoveled the rest of his breakfast into his mouth with a few rushed scoops. “Have a pleasant journey. I-I’m going into the dimensional pot. Bye-bye.” 

As soon as he had finished speaking, he made a run for the dimensional pot and holed himself up in there.

… can delay it and stay at home with you. 

Yin Yan swallowed down the last half of his sentence and looked at his half-finished breakfast. Then he looked at Yu Zhen’s completely cleaned plate. No longer having an appetite, he stood up and walked over to the dimensional pot. 

“Yu Zhen, I…”

“Have a nice journey! If you’re too busy, it’s alright if you don’t come back for lunch!”

“…”

Yin Yan thought back to his forceful action of making Yu Zhen ‘kill’ someone last night. His eyebrows knitted together slightly and he called Xu Wu out. After a few words with Xu Wu, he followed Yu Zhen’s wishes and left. 

After confirming that Yin Yan had left, Yu Zhen’s tensed up body relaxed, and he lay down on the Sacred Soil. 

Now, what do I do? I feel too ashamed to face Yin Yan. 

Yin Yan is so nice to me. He helped me with cultivation, gave me a job, and took care of my food, clothing, and everyday life needs. But in the end, I unexpectedly had impure thoughts about him and looked at him with lustful eyes.

I’m like a dog or a wolf.^[1]

He spurned himself, listlessly sat up, and looked at the ring on his finger. The longer he looked at it, the nicer it appeared. While admiring the ring, a feeling of delight rose up within him.

We’re married. Legally speaking, we’re now husbands.

Elated, he touched the ring. Then his mood fell abruptly as he reflected on what he was thinking. He held his head with a groan and flopped back down onto the soil. Then he banged his head against the ground.

No, no, how can I be happy right now? Won’t it be a problem if Yin Yan finds out my heart has become crooked? He might divorce me to put some distance between us. Won’t we have less contact then?

Maybe he’ll hate me and think I don’t know the difference between what’s appropriate and what’s not.

No! It can’t turn out like that! I don’t want to separate from Yin Yan! I don’t want to be hated by him!

He sat up and straightened his back, with a look of finally achieving some clarity from his previous madness. He pursed his lips and had a serious expression on his face. Standing up, he looked around, observing the dimensional pot which seemed to have been infused with Yin Yan’s energy everywhere. He turned around and, without hesitation, left the dimensional pot.

He drove to the foot of the suburb’s mountain and then climbed it with his stifled feelings. He stopped before the mountain god’s ancient tree, head covered in sweat. Holding the tree with one hand for support, he gasped, “Gr-Grandpa once told me that mountain gods and land gods are alike. They are in charge of a piece of land. They-they can affect and control the lives, deaths, illnesses, fated marriages, and offsprings of those who live there. You-you, take a look at me…” 

Swish, swish. The tree shook and swayed, refusing frantically.

“You’re the only one that I know here. If you don’t help me, I-I’ll die at your feet!” Yu Zhen sat on the ground and hugged the tree tightly in a rare show of hooligan behavior.

The ancient tree was stressed to the point that it felt its leaves might fall off, so it played dead. 

“I’d heard that the barks of mountain gods are top-notch materials for refining. I think refining sounds like fun. I’d like to learn a bit.” Yu Zhen stuck his face against the tree and ‘gently caressed’ its bark with both hands, showing his not-so-ambiguous intentions.

The ancient tree trembled and began dropping branches in a panic. The branches were real this time, and their impact against Yu Zhen’s head was quite painful.

However, Yu Zhen didn’t care and also decided to play dead, continuing to hold onto the tree trunk.

One man and one tree entered a deadlock.

One minute, two minutes, five minutes… After half an hour Yu Zhen couldn’t stand it anymore and began to pick at the bark.

The old tree, no longer able to bear Yu Zhen’s vexing actions, dropped a leaf from its branches. It slowly floated down to Yu Zhen. 

Yu Zhen’s eyes brightened and he reached his hands out to catch it. However, when the leaf touched his fingertips, it immediately turned to dust. Blankly, Yu Zhen asked, “What does this mean?”

The ancient tree did not move nor give further instructions.

“Does this mean it’s all in vain?”

The old tree gently rustled its leaves, unexpectedly giving off a gentle and placating feeling.

Yu Zhen’s heart sank.

“Little cultivator, don’t make things hard for the great mountain god. He can only affect the lives of ordinary mortals. He can’t calculate the fate of a cultivator. As for your destined marriage, it will be under the jurisdiction of the heavens.”

A shrill, childish voice came from the ancient tree. Turning to the source of the sound, Yu Zhen found a fat squirrel squatting on a branch. The squirrel watched Yu Zhen and returned his look. It waved a hand in a human-like manner and its mouth moved.

“Go back. Rather than letting a bystander calculate your destined marriage, you might as well seize it for yourself.”

Yu Zhen recognized the squirrel. On the day that Yu Zhen was catching the spirit hare, the squirrel was watching the exciting show. It was a little demon ^[2] that had gained wisdom a long time ago.

Yu Zhen slowly calmed down from his conflicted state of mind which churned from his emotions. Thinking about his identity as a cultivator, he patted the bark which he had picked at. Guilt welling up in him, he passed over some merits and said, “Sorry, I was too willful.”

As he spoke, he looked up at the squirrel. Then he added with a smile, “Thank you. Next time, I’ll come and play with you.”

The squirrel touched its whiskers, took out a nut, and threw it at Yu Zhen. Then it turned around, scurried along the tree’s branches, and disappeared into the forest. 

Crack. The ancient tree dropped another branch onto Yu Zhen, but this time, into his arms. It turned into a dew-covered Chinese rose.

“Thank you for consoling me.” Yu Zhen twirled the Chinese rose in one hand and then lightly touched the tree again. Seeing that it was getting late, he said his farewell and returned down the mountain.