{"id":11226,"date":"2020-03-18T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-03-18T18:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/betwixtedbutterfly.com\/translations\/?p=11226"},"modified":"2020-04-01T13:44:29","modified_gmt":"2020-04-01T17:44:29","slug":"pttp013","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/betwixtedbutterfly.com\/translations\/pttp013\/","title":{"rendered":"Part-Time Taoist Priest 13"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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<< Chapter 12<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Project Page<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Chapter 14 >><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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The One-Legged Wutong (Part 1)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Cheng Jie was confused too. If he wasn\u2019t wrong, Xie Lingya only started working in this profession less than two years ago. Either way, when he graduated, Xie Lingya didn\u2019t show any inclination towards it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But as he recalled the rumors he\u2019d heard, he hesitated. If Xie Lingya was truly unskilled, how was he able to help people solve their problems? It couldn\u2019t be that he became a charlatan. Cheng Jie didn\u2019t believe Xie Lingya was such a person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya did not know how to explain. Cheng Jie wasn\u2019t in the know. He couldn\u2019t say he was born with a celestial bone, could he?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy don\u2019t you tell me what you\u2019ve encountered first?\u201d Xie Lingya said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie thought, Why not?<\/em>, so he said, \u201cSince last month, after we go to bed at night, there are footsteps in the living room, things being thrown around, and the TV turns on by itself. The first time it happened, my wife was alone in the bedroom and thought someone had broken in. She sent a message to the police, but when they arrived, they found nothing. Even the surveillance didn\u2019t show anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen it got worse and worse. The fish we bought was torn apart and thrown on the floor. We kept having nightmares and sleep paralysis. We couldn\u2019t escape it even when we hid in a hotel!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m at my wit\u2019s end. I thought I was going crazy. We went to look for monks, and they told us guest spirits were causing trouble. We paid for exorcism, but it didn\u2019t work. Then we thought of looking for a Taoist priest. We heard from a friend that Baoyang Temple had an expert named Xie, who saved an acquaintance from the ghost walls. Baoyang Temple has also become quite well-known recently, so we came. Who would\u2019ve thought it was you!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He Zun is really a loyal little groupie and a sincere worshiper<\/em>, Xie Lingya thought. Niuyang wasn\u2019t a large city; it was normal for He Zun\u2019s encounter to reach Cheng Jie\u2019s ears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once Cheng Jie had finished, his wife\u2019s eyes were puffy and wet with tears. He sighed and asked, \u201cHow is it? Do you have any idea how to fix it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya laughed. \u201cIf it was anything else, I might not be familiar with it, but I know a damn lot about guest spirits!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not long ago, he just poked seven of them to death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe monk you hired wasn\u2019t skilled enough. This guest spirit seems a bit ferocious, but it is just a guest spirit.\u201d Xie Lingya was full of confidence. He even showed them the classic scriptures. \u201cFlying corpses, roving demons, only the names are scary.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The couple was comforted by his confidence. \u201cReally? What\u2019s your chance of success?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c80-90%.\u201d Ending the topic, Xie Lingya said, \u201cI will accompany you today and deal with it. We\u2019ve known each other for so long, would I scam you? If I can\u2019t take care of it, I won\u2019t charge you anything.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie thought that while Xie Lingya could be incongruous at times, he was genuinely good to his friends. He nodded. \u201cThen I\u2019ll trouble you with it. Right, this is the first time you\u2019re meeting your sister-in-law, not only are you not offering discounts, you still want to charge money?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya: \u201cSister, you didn\u2019t bring me a meeting gift?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie and his wife relaxed even further after joking a bit. The gloomy mood that surrounded them these days dispersed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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After the temple gates closed, Xie Lingya rested for a while, then packed the Three Treasures Sword and some talismans, and followed the couple back to their residence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They arrived around 11 p.m. Cheng Jie\u2019s unit was on the seventeenth floor. In the elevator, Fan Fang\u2019s, his wife\u2019s, mood sank again because they were returning home. She looked unwell, so Cheng Jia held her hand tight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya comforted her, \u201cDon\u2019t worry, Sis, I\u2019m very good at this job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the saying went, First meeting, strangers, second meeting, old friends<\/em>. Although he didn\u2019t know the full story, Xie Lingya knew it was guest spirits\u2014who cared how they got here, just exterminate them and that was it. But, the task of welcoming gods to the residence, he would have to consult with the Taihe priests. He hadn\u2019t learned to do it yet, but he didn\u2019t want to say anything to avoid worrying Cheng Jie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie stopped in front of the door, took a deep breath, and opened it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Entering the apartment, Xie Lingya found it rather chilly. The couple was scared, so Xie Lingya stepped inside and turned on the lights. He looked around and found nothing. \u201cCome on in.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya sat in the living room. He took out the Three Treasures Sword and set it beside him. Taking out the talismans, he explained, \u201cThe spirit usually causes a ruckus around 1 a.m., doesn\u2019t it? We will wait here. When it starts, I\u2019ll slaughter it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie & Fan Fang: \u201c\u2026\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was uncertainty scrawled on their faces. They were at ease when they saw Xie Lingya with the plum wood sword and the talismans, but once he started to speak\u2026 What kind of plan was that? It sounded so simple and crude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But they were already here, there was no backing out now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To reassure them, Xie Lingya gave each of them a protection charm to wear, then he waited while playing on his phone and eating candy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fan Fang was a little scared. \u201cSay something, Xiao Xie. It\u2019s too quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya had no choice but to put away his phone and attempt to chat. He and Cheng Jia rarely met up after graduation, and they didn\u2019t have much to talk about. Looking around, Xie Lingya asked, \u201cSis, this place is quite new, isn\u2019t it? Why is there a dent in the cabinet?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He had noticed an obvious dent in the TV cabinet. He wasn\u2019t sure about Fan Fang, but he knew Cheng Jie was particular about his living environment\u2014his university dorm had always been clean and tidy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe renovated last year,\u201d Fan Fang said. \u201cIt\u2019s because it was hit by a stone statue.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie was also upset about it. \u201cI went hiking with my mates and found a stone statue. I thought it was an antique, so I brought it back and placed it on the cabinet. I consulted with some experts later, and they said it was old but not worth much. Fan Fang also thought it didn\u2019t look good, so I threw it away. We weren\u2019t careful when we moved it, and it made the dent. I was upset. Not only did we waste so much time for nothing, we even suffered damage.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fan Fang also chimed it, \u201cYeah, it was rather ugly. But, there was so much going on recently that we didn\u2019t have time to do anything about it. I was thinking we could get something new later and put a flower vase up to hide the dent for now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, it\u2019s not a bad idea,\u201d Xie Lingya agreed. \u201cOkay, I need to use the washroom.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHold on, the guest toilet\u2019s plumbing is broken. Use the master bedroom,\u201d Cheng Jie said and led the way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSure\u2026 um, you don\u2019t need to accompany me, the toilet is right there,\u201d Xie Lingya said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie said, embarrassed, \u201cLet me follow you, I feel scared sitting there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fan Fang also stood up on shaky legs and held Cheng Jie\u2019s arm, \u201cWe\u2019ll wait for you outside the door.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya: \u201c\u2026\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He didn\u2019t have much choice since they insisted on accompanying him to the toilet. So the three of them made their way to the master bedroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To keep them calm, Xie Lingya kept talking even inside the bathroom. He washed his hands and turned to leave, but stepped on a wet patch, slipped, and fell flat on his face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFuck!\u201d Not only was it painful, but also humiliating. Sprawled on the floor, Xie Lingya could see the couple\u2019s shocked but amused expressions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya was flustered, but something caught his eye. Once he realized what exactly he\u2019d seen under Cheng Jie\u2019s bed, he felt a chill run up his spine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was a humanoid statue, made of stone, and about the size of an adult\u2019s arm. The carving was crude, but the facial features were distinct. The statue had only one leg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Intentionally so. It wasn\u2019t that a leg had broken off, but it was originally carved with only one leg. It looked creepy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the shadows of the bed, the statue\u2019s empty eyes stared directly at Xie Lingya. The slightly worn lips were curved in a cold smile\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLingya, what\u2019s the matter? You can\u2019t get up?\u201d Cheng Jie thought he had injured himself since he hadn\u2019t gotten up off the floor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why would Cheng Jie place this creepy thing under his bed? Xie Lingya raised his head. \u201c\u2026That statue you found, was it one-legged?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The couple was stunned. \u201cHow did you know?\u201d they asked, puzzled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling that something wasn\u2019t right, their hearts started to pound. They followed Xie Lingya\u2019s gaze to the bed. Cheng Jie, voice shaking, asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s under the bed?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fan Fang looked like she was about to faint.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suddenly, despite the windows being closed, the curtains billowed. The air conditioner turned on by itself, and cool air rushed into the apartment. Xie Lingya jumped up and shouted, \u201cGet out!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie and Fan Fang turned and ran to the living room. Both were wearing protection charms, but Xie Lingya had no talisman on himself. He held his fingers in the Spirit Official\u2019s Seal for protection and dashed into the living room for the Three Treasures Sword.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAh!\u201d Fan Fang screamed. The protection charm she wore combusted spontaneously, and she quickly threw it away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This couldn\u2019t be a guest spirit, as the simple protection charm didn\u2019t ward against it. Xie Lingya regretted not bringing some Spirit Official\u2019s protection talismans; he hadn\u2019t even brought cinnabar and talisman paper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The rice on the floor was stationary. Xie Lingya couldn\u2019t discern any movement in it, but he knew whatever the evil thing in the room, it still had to be there. It destroyed the protection charm on Fan Fang, so it would make a move towards her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since he didn\u2019t know where it was, Xie Lingya could only hold his sword in hand and shout, \u201cAll-encompassing Dao, heed my call!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShhh\u2026\u201d there was a faint, inhumanly soft sigh. Pure energy burst from the sword and blew the rice away, forming a circle around him. The half-open door to the balcony creaked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya stuck another protection charm on Fan Fang. Holding his sword, he looked around vigilantly, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. The air conditioner had also turned off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya stuck the remainder of the protection charms all around the apartment, but there was no response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie and Fan Fang hid behind him in fear. There was no longer doubt in their hearts when they saw what happened with Xie Lingya\u2019s sword and the talismans. Xie Lingya definitely knew his stuff!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fan Fang thought of the sound from the balcony door and cried, \u201cT-that guest spirit, is it gone for good?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt isn\u2019t here, but it\u2019s not gone for good,\u201d Xie Lingya corrected. He didn\u2019t know what that thing was, but he deduced that since it could break the protection charm, it was unlikely to be killed with one hit from the Sword of Frugality. It had most likely escaped. \u201cThat thing might not be a guest spirit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut that monk said\u2026\u201d Cheng Jie paused. After all, that monk hadn\u2019t accomplished anything. Close to a nervous breakdown, he asked, \u201cWhat the hell is that thing? Is it something to do with the statue? Will it come back?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya didn\u2019t know either. He dragged the one-legged statue out from under the bed. The couple blanched. Fan Fang took several steps back, almost fainting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They had definitely thrown the thing out a long time ago, but now it had re-appeared under their bed! Once they realized this thing<\/em> had been under their bed this entire time, they felt the wind knocked out of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya placed the statue on the living room floor. He stuck two talismans on the statue, but nothing happened. He was certain, \u201cIt probably escaped outside. I don\u2019t know if it will come back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If he knew it wasn\u2019t a guest spirit causing trouble, he wouldn\u2019t have come so eagerly without preparation. Sigh, he was still too inexperienced. He had no idea what to do next because he didn\u2019t recognize it at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, after thinking about it, Xie Lingya still thought the most unbelievable thing about this whole affair was\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy would you think this was some kind of antique? The one leg is so creepy!\u201d Xie Lingya said to Cheng Jie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI thought it was sort of like Venus de Milo,\u201d Cheng Jie answered, embarrassed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya: \u201c\u2026\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fan Fang let out a loud sob. Xie Lingya suspected her husband\u2019s stupidity had just dawned on her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Deciding to use the Phone a Friend lifeline<\/a>, Xie Lingya took out his phone and video-called Shi Changxuan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Half a minute later, Shi Changxuan picked up. He had probably been sleeping, judging by the bedroom in the background. Only his hair and forehead showed on the screen. His tone was puzzled at being called so late at night, \u201cHm\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSorry for disturbing you when you were resting, Shi Daozhang<\/em>,\u201d Xie Lingya apologized. \u201cI have an urgent matter that needs your help. Do you know what this is?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He directed the camera at the stone statue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After three or four seconds, Shi Changxuan\u2019s face appeared on the screen, fully awake. \u201cThe one-legged Wutong<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe one-legged Wutong? Is it a demon?\u201d Xie Lingya explained, \u201cMy senior found it on a mountain. He threw it out, but it came back by itself. It keeps causing trouble, and I just scared it off.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shi Changxuan said, \u201cIn the South, it\u2019s sometimes called Wutong, sometimes wood spirit, and some even call it the one-legged god. This is why you can\u2019t just throw it away. It\u2019s easy to invite a god in, but hard to send one away.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The couple was shocked. \u201cThis is a statue of a god?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust a mountain goblin, a demonic idol that was worshipped by villagers,\u201d Shi Changxua explained. \u201cIt grants wealth when worshipped. Those who worship the one-legged Wutong could get rich overnight. You have invited it in, but not worshipped it, so it\u2019s causing trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There were creatures greedy for offerings. They would fulfill human wishes in return for worship. They weren\u2019t true deities, but demonic idols.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie was tempted by what he\u2019d said, \u201cSo it just wants to be worshipped? It will stop causing trouble and make us rich after it gets its offerings?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie\u2019s wife, on the other hand, was frightened. This one-legged Wutong was too menacing. She didn\u2019t dare worship it. Didn\u2019t he say it wasn\u2019t a proper god but a demonic idol?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shi Changxuan said coolly, \u201cIf it was just so, the one-legged Wutong wouldn\u2019t have fewer and fewer worshipers or get abandoned in the wild for you to find. For festivals and every new moon, it needs offerings of pig and lamb. Every three years, humans have to be offered.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cheng Jie shivered, what little temptation he had immediately vanishing, and waved his hands. \u201cT-then let\u2019s send it away,\u201d he said, looking at Xie Lingya for help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya asked, \u201cShi Daozhang<\/em>, is there a way to send it away?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shi Changxuan countered, \u201cIt cannot be sent away. The one-legged Wutong is petty and vengeful\u2014it will even punish its worshipers if offended. Since you\u2019ve injured it, it will be even more careful now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The risk remained so long as the Wutong was out there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya said, dejected, \u201cI thought it was just a guest spirit, so I wasn\u2019t prepared. From what you\u2019ve said, we can only kill it now? How do I lure it out?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shi Changxuan thought for a bit then said, \u201cThe one-legged Wutong is very greedy. You can try to lure it out with a fake offering ceremony and eradicate it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya wasn\u2019t too confident at hearing that plan. He didn\u2019t know how to conduct a prayer ceremony and was worried he\u2019d mess it up, so he said, \u201cShi Daozhang<\/em>, um, have you finished the purification rites? Could you help?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shi Changxuan fell silent. Xie Lingya thought for a moment the call had ended. Was the question so hard to answer?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a long while, Shi Changxuan said with eyes downcast, \u201c\u2026Ok.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

More confident now, Xie Lingya asked, \u201cWhat do we need to prepare?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shi Changxuan replied, \u201cAccording to ancient records, there needs to be a sacrifice of pig and lamb, two of each. The fur, skin, blood, and feces must be kept and used as offerings. The ceremony should be conducted at midnight. Avoid having women at the ceremony as the Wutong can cause stillbirth. There cannot be light at the ceremony\u2026 and the people giving the offering cannot wear shirts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Xie Lingya: \u201c\u2026\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He sighed, \u201cThis one-legged Wutong really is a pervert.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Translator: <\/em>Velvet
Editor: <\/em>Bet, Taalia
Proofreader:<\/em> Taalia, Eques<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<< Chapter 12<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Project Page<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Chapter 14 >><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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